MODERN LOVERS by Emma Straub (Riverhead),335 pages, $35 cloth. Rating: NN
The premise of Emma Straub’s Modern Lovers is irresistible. Andrew, Elizabeth and Zoe are former members of a famous grunge band. Andrew and Elizabeth have a son, Harry Zoe and her wife, Jane, have a daughter, Ruby. Soon the former bandmates have to decide whether to green-light a film project about charismatic Lydia, the self-destructive, now dead fourth member of their band. In the meantime, their teenaged offspring hook up, causing the couples deep anxiety.
A decent premise. Too bad these people are all super-wealthy, entitled whiners who make me wonder: should anyone give a damn about rich characters?
Well, sure, if they’re villains crushing the masses or moguls being challenged by their progressive-minded children, or alienated party planners like Mrs. Dalloway who make you think having tons of money may not be all it’s cracked up to be.
But these guys are none of the above. Andrew and Elizabeth live with their son in the house once owned by Zoe’s parents, a successful disco duo. He’s a trust-fund hippie she’s a wildly successful real estate agent (one of Straub’s strangest, least interesting choices). Elizabeth’s best friend, Zoe, runs a high-end resto – a very popular foodie favourite – with Jane, a gifted chef.
Straub checks all the boxes: grunge nostalgia, restaurant madness, middle-aged crises (the kids are having fun, the parents not so much). But some essential plot elements don’t wash. For starters, both sets of parents go ballistic when their kids start sleeping with each other. Why? This is 2016, for chrissake. Teens have sex. And besides, wouldn’t you want your child to sleep with someone you know isn’t a terrible person?
Weirdly, Jane’s jealous of Zoe’s two-decade connection with Elizabeth. Really? Like, it took you 20 years to figure out that friendship mattered?
Plus, Andrew, trying to find meaning in his life, gets involved with a New Age group in a house down the street, and we know where that’s going.
In the end, I can’t care about these people.
susanc@nowtoronto.com | @susangcole
