Tired of roasted turkey? How about some roasted Mike Harris? Playwright Darren O’Donnell and producer Naomi Campbell, fed up with Ontario’s ungenerous policies toward its citizens, have organized Bye Mike!, a cabaret to which 13 playwrights are contributing five-minute sketches. Some’ll be pre-show guerrilla theatre this week at the Tarragon, Buddies, Factory and Passe Muraille. Full evenings — pieces rotate nightly — begin October 16 at VideoCab’s Cameron House space (408 Queen West).
Here are some highlights, and the writers’ personal invitation to Mike Harris.
WHO — Michael Healey
WHAT — Eleven Hundred, in which the government screws a hooker.
HARRISMENT PITCH — “Pleese cum. It’s funy and aboot educashun… I meen job markit preparashun.”
WHO — Darren O’Donnell
WHAT — Kim’s Kid, about the effect of Harris’s policies on a woman and her child.
HARRISMENT PITCH — “If you don’t come see the show, we’ll kill your kids. Just kidding. We’ll just make them drink a glass of Walkerton water.”
WHO — Karen Hines
WHAT — Foster Child, in which toxic clown Pochsy comments on the state of indigent young ones.
HARRISMENT PITCH — “It’s a fabular meditation on poor little children and the god(s) who protect(s) them so that we need not. (Note to Mike: ‘fabular’ means ‘in the style of a fable.’)”
WHO — James O’Reilly
WHAT — Two Days Away From The Street, a hurtin’ ballad about two Parkdale guys facing an astronomical rent increase.
HARRISMENT PITCH — (to be sung with a country twang) “Hey there Mike, come try a little art. / It could plug that hole in the middle of your heart.”
WHO — James Harkness
WHAT — Look Busy, about a pigeon feeder pondering a pricey meal.
HARRISMENT PITCH — I was disappointed when you didn’t attend my last show maybe this time. I understand — you’re busy denying all sorts of terrible things.”