VICIOUS BITCHES June 22 at Second City and Thursday (June 26) at Buddies in Bad Times.
Comic chameleon and actor Gavin Crawford and cabaret performer extraordinaire Sharron Matthews are no strangers to headlining shows – during Pride Week or otherwise. Now, like those two merry murderesses in the musical Chicago, they’ve teamed up for the perfect double act, which they perform twice, once at Second City and once at Buddies.
What does WorldPride mean to you?
Gavin Crawford: Longer lines, shorter shorts and the chance at a European boyfriend.
Sharron Matthews: People from all over the world are coming to Toronto to celebrate who they are. Also: international boobs and ass as far as the eye can see! Yay!
Beginning with the words “In a world…” can you pitch your show as a movie trailer?
Crawford: “In a world where just hopping is an opening number and gay men take their babies out dancing, two solo performers meet onstage to become… vicious bitches.”
Matthews: “In a world where comedy, belting, impersonations and partial nudity meet… you will find two redheads fighting for centre stage. Yes, I said partial… and yes, I said red.”
What song has the potential to be a Pride anthem?
Crawford: Everything Is Awesome (from The Lego Movie).
Matthews: Enough Is Enough. Because sometimes, for Chrissakes, it is just enough.
Best queer-related piece of news of 2014?
Crawford: Hodor, Hodor, Hodor!
Matthews: Orange Is The New Black complete season two released. I binged and passed out.
You’re doing two shows – one at Second City, the other at Buddies. How will they be different?
Crawford: One will be well rehearsed.
In what way are you “vicious bitches”?
Crawford: We’re wearing the title ironically, like a beard on a weak dude. We’re the two sweetest people in Toronto, we just have no patience for Oprah and her goddamn chai tea!!
Matthews: We just used this title to get people to the show. I don’t think we are vicious. Unless we’re talking about theatre… or TV… or [insert any name here]. Yeah, uh-huh, we are stone cold vicious bitches.
Who’s got the bigger dressing room?
Crawford: Wait, that bitch has a dressing room!!?
Matthews: Gavin got a DRESSING ROOM?!?!?! EFF Him!!!
What’s your fantasy green room rider?
Crawford: Must have one large bottle of Stoli and one nude Alexander Skarsgård.
Matthews: Feathers everywhere and chicken Caesar salads for everyone. (I don’t aim high. I am from Hamilton. I gotta keep it real.)
And your actual rider?
Crawford: Just naked Skarsgård.
Matthews: “Please show them where the stage is… then f##k ’em.”
If Rob Ford saw your show, what would he think?
Crawford: Subways, subways, subways.
Matthews: Speaking of f##k ’em…
… and what would you say to him?
Crawford: “I think you’re in the wrong theatre.”
Matthews: “How the hell did you get in here?”
Message to couples taking part in June 26’s mass gay wedding?
Crawford: “I do.” Kyle and I are actually getting married that day. We figured we’d been together so long we should get married, and being married to 150 other people seemed like an added bonus. That’s how this works, right?
Matthews: Dear happy couples, Please find Gavin and remind him that, though he is actually getting married at that very wedding ceremony, sound check is still at 5:30 pm. We’ve got a show to do, bitch!
glenns@nowtoronto.com | @glennsumi
