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Album reviews Music

SIMPLE PLAN

Rating: N


There are only two explanations for this shitstorm of drivel. First, the band as a whole is made up of robots who’ve been pre-programmed to perform pithy, unremarkable songs about teen angst without ever questioning the audacious vapidity inherent therein. Second (and more likely) is that the man-boys (they’re almost 30, btw) in the band started playing asinine pop music cloaked in a manufactured and highly derivative skate-punk/mascara-and-emo aesthetic after they caught on to the “tween phenomenon” and realized that kids six to 12 have massive spending power and market influence and are, incidentally, probably the only ones willing to shell out money for what Simple Plan are selling. This isn’t music so much as it is economic exploitation of a demographic.

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