GREY’S ANATOMY created by Shonda Rhimes, with Ellen Pompeo, Patrick Dempsey, Sandra Oh and T.R. Knight. Airs Thursdays at 9 pm on ABC and CTV. Rating: NNN
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Ladytown. I’m not just referring to a recent episode of Private Practice devoted almost entirely to going down south, but to Grey’s Anatomy and its equally estro-energized offspring in general.
What I’m wondering is, doesn’t anybody on either of these shows have any balls?
Every week a bunch of medical stuff happens and every case parallels the personal lives of the staff, whether it’s George left clinging to a bloody wedding dress or Meredith talking to a skydiver who had a near-death experience and is also unable to profess his feelings to the person he loves.
Gimme a break. Gender aside, the characters on these shows are so sackless, it’s like The View set up shop in a hospital.
Head ball-breaker – and hence the person with the biggest balls – Bailey’s been almost completely neutered this season. Meredith continues to be a pick-me, choose-me, love-me whiner with daddy issues and mommy issues and issues issues. But now that McDreamy’s picked her, chosen her and loves her, she’s rejecting him, turning him into McMopey, and I can’t say I blame him. She wants a weekend, he wants a lifetime. But jeez, Derek, drop a pair and move on. It’s not like she’s that hot anyway.
George and Izzie have less chemistry than a periodic table. He’s so emo he should be the one bursting into tears during sex.
At least Sloan’s still a sexist pig, and a more likeable one at that. Loved his reaction to discovering the nursing staff had formed an anti-McSteamy coalition called the Nurses United Against Mark Sloan: “Are there any club activities?”
Although I’m not sure how I feel about him trying to move in on Callie O’Malley, whose cafeteria confrontation with Izzie was ridiculously high school. Izzie threw up her fists, ready to fight for George, and Callie wanted to talk. Not very manly, but at least it was grown up, which is so unlike Grey’s Anatomy.
And we can’t forget Alex, who’s managed to hold onto his pair if only by the sheer fact he’s using them, first by sleeping with Amnesia Girl and then with sexy Lexie, the younger, slightly less whiny Dr. Grey.
Even last week’s gentleman’s night plot line got derailed by the new Burke, Dr. Hahn (now, she’s got some cajones), who made the guys sit around and play monopoly.
As Grampa Gilmore said, “You surgeons are all just a bunch of little children running around with your scalpels and your severed feet and your inappropriate sex in inappropriate places. You all need a good shrink.”
What he didn’t realize is that there’s been enough shrinking at Seattle Grace already.
Too touchy-feely
PRIVATE PRACTICE created by Shonda Rhimes, with Kate Walsh, Tim Daly, Taye Diggs and Amy Brenneman. Airs Wednesdays at 9 pm on ABC and 8 pm on CTV. Rating: NN
Over on PP, the once vampy (and hence interesting) Dr. Addison Montgomery now acts like a 14-year-old girl anxious about her first kiss.
Seems Addison – whose medical specialty is the va-jay-jay – has never let her fingers do the walking or paid herself lip service or gotten in some private practice (insert your own euphemism here). Something about being from Connecticut, which probably isn’t on the tourist brochure.
Of course, by the end, with a gladiator-ahem-cum-cowboy fantasy about co-worker Dr. Feelgood in mind, she got it on with her gynormous shower head.
The ep also involved a discomforting amount of speculum usage, which again left me wondering if anybody on this show has a penis. I know I saw Taye Diggs and Tim Daly listed in the credits right before Speculum, but I’ll be damned if I saw them anywhere in this shrill estrofest.
All of which reminds me of something Cristina said over on Grey’s (actually, it’s the only decent line of dialogue Sandra Oh’s had this season). “You know, being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two very different things.”
I just wish series creator Shonda Rhimes would recognize her crap and do something about it. Stat!
What to watch this week
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 8
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? (documentary) Ever wonder about your roots? This series follows 13 well-known Canadians as they explore their family history. Tonight’s episode features singer Chantal Kreviazuk, while upcoming shows focus on retired peacekeeper General Lewis MacKenzie, Mary Walsh and Randy Bachman. 7:30 pm on CBC
barretth@nowtoronto.com
