ZOOLANDER 2 (Ben Stiller). 102 minutes. Opens Friday (February 12). See listing. Rating: N
Anna Wintour, Alexander Wang and Valentino are just some of the fashion icons in Zoolander 2’s cameo parade. By joining in on the very obvious gags about their industry, they’re also acknowledging that Ben Stiller’s preening and witless runway “satire” contains nothing to make them remotely uncomfortable.
The sequel to the 15-year-old Zoolander has been co-opted by the high-heeled machine it supposedly mocks. Stiller and Owen Wilson actually announced their characters’ big-screen return with a surprise catwalk in Valentino’s Paris Fashion Week show last year.
So with no one to really make fun of, Stiller’s duck-faced Derek Zoolander and nemesis-turned-friend Hansel (Wilson) just stick to looking dumb. That’s easy enough to do – the characters talk a Trump-load of stupidity – but it’s never actually funny. Embarrassing jokes about weight and orgies only trip and fall flat.
The nonsense begins with a flashback to the fall of 2001, when a disaster that carelessly evokes 9/11 sends both Zoolander and Hansel into hiding. They return in response to a mysterious murder spree of celebrities like Justin Bieber, who all post the same puckered-up selfies before dying. According to Valentina, Penélope Cruz’s voluptuous swimsuit-model-turned-
That kicks off a runaway plot about Zoolander’s abandoned son and a Da Vinci Code-like cabal, all while the characters come face to face with how out of touch they are in the era of Instagram and ironic hipsters.
Given how much time has lapsed, even the jokes about Zoolander being dated feel dated. The least we should expect from a movie about the fashion industry is that it keeps up with the times.
