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Food Food & Drink

Barn bored

BURGER STOMPER (364 Danforth, at Hampton, 647-347-7867, burgerstomperbar.com) Complete meals for $18 per person, including tax, tip and a drink. Average main $9. Open Monday to Wednesday noon to 9 pm, Thursday noon to 10 pm, Friday and Saturday noon to 11 pm, Sunday and holidays noon to 7 pm. Unlicensed. Access: barrier-free. Rating: NNN


Nothing says rustic quite like reclaimed barnboard. But frankly, it’s getting a little boring.

You see the fashionably weathered wood at Stockyards on St. Clair, where recycled planks have cleverly replaced the room’s drop ceiling.

You’ll find reconfigured barnboard on the floor at Geoff Hopgood’s Foodliner on Roncesvalles and as wainscotting at Chippy’s on Queen West. Why, even Lazy Daisy’s in Little India has tables fashioned from the stuff, not to mention Porchetta, Highway 61 and the Leslieville Pumps.

That hasn’t stopped the recently launched Burger Stomper from hopping aboard this distressed – and distressing – bandwagon. Not only is there barnboard, but it has exposed brick and poured concrete floors, too. The only current decor clichés missing are crown mouldings and stainless steel appliances.

Some of the folks behind Burger Stomper the restaurant are also responsible for the Burger Stomper, the nifty no-stick kitchen press that turns out perfectly circular 6-ounce meat patties in seconds. You can buy it on QVC or over the counter on the Danforth for $29.95, where they use it to stomp out the roughly ground triple-A beef that finds it way into the house’s signature whoppers.

Stomper’s burgers are best when kept simple, but be warned that they put ketchup on just about everything unless you tell them otherwise. The basic Classic Stomp ($5.75) piled with regulation tomato, onion and lettuce becomes a Better Than The Other Guy ($8.25) (Burger’s Priest, perhaps?) with the addition of bacon, cheddar and pickle, both on nicely grilled eggy buns. The less said about the rubbery Veggie Burger ($6.75) the better.

As per trend, stunt burgers are the Stomper’s draw, such monstrosities as the Cheese Please ($8.50) – a Classic with mustard smothered in more than half a pound of shredded cheddar – and the exceptionally messy two-patty Double Whammy ($11.50) with whole pickled peppers and barbecue sauce.

The French Kiss ($7.50) comes dressed with french fries, gravy and mozzarell’ (that’s right, poutine inside the bun), and the Secret Stomp ($11.50) may be a salute to the joint’s greasy spoon roots, topped as it is with a Vesta Lunch-worth of chopped onion, bacon and peppers. And an omelette.

Regular fries ($3.50) are fresh-cut and pre-salted, the overly crunchy sweet potato version ($4) seems prefab, and onion rings ($4.25) come in a “secret batter” spiked with Sprite, more ring than onion. And even though the shakes (all $4 small/$5.50 medium/$7.75 large) are made with 2 per cent milk, they’re still incredibly rich, especially the combo of chocolate, peanut butter and Nutella. They almost make you forget the barnboard.

stevend@nowtoronto.com

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