BRISTOL YARD (146 Christie, at Pendrith, 647-716-6583) Complete rock ’n’ roll brunches for $20 per person, including tax, tip and a proper cuppa. Average main $12. Open for brunch Saturday and Sunday 11 am to 3 pm. Dinner Thursday to Saturday 5 to 10 pm, Sunday 6 to 10 pm. No reservations. Unlicensed. Cash only. Access: one step at door, washrooms on same floor. Rating: NNNN
There are no net curtains. Apart from that one detail, the six-week-old Bristol Yard is the perfect evocation of a proper British caff.
No surprise when you learn that long-time Blowup DJ Davy Love’s at the helm. That would explain the black-and-white glossies on the wall – Keith Moon, Sandie Shaw, Oscar Wilde, the Kray twins – and the carefully curated 60s UK classics on the iPod playlist. The Brit-centric card features house-made bangers ‘n’ mash and terrific chicken tikka pies (both $10 with mushy peas), as it should. Why, Love even makes his own fruity HP-like brown sauce, and brilliantly so.
He elevates something as mundane as beans on toast ($7) into culinary art, the usual canned Heinz suspects replaced by a clever mix of white navy and kidney beans in a sweetly stewed tomato sauce on thick whole-wheat toast. A final crumble of Stilton sends the plate sky high. And what plates they be, each more a platter large enough for a 30-pound turkey. We pity the staff who carry them two at a time.
They come groaning with the likes of the Full Monty ($14), a traditionally massive fry-up consisting of two eggs any style – we go scrambled, obviously – sided with meaty rashers of artisanal bacon, jus-bursting sausage, sautéed mushrooms, more baked beans and home fries made with spuds that have been both smoked and roasted. Did we mention it comes with the fried bread, too? Perhaps that’s why the menu cautions, “Not for the faint-hearted.”
Eggs St. George ($12) turns eggs Benedict on its ear, a pair of house-baked crumpets piled with poached eggs, bacon and Bristol sauce, Love’s lemony update on what he calls “tired old Hollandaise.” Red crosses of hot sauce “made for us by our good friend’s mom” give the incendiary dish its name.
An homage to a certain South American soccer superstar, the Maradona ($13) finds a round of tortas fritas (aka fried bread) and the inevitable poached eggs heaped with strips of medium-rare grilled steak in garlicky chimichurri. Goal!
We’d planned on finishing with the Yard’s take on French toast crusted with Rice Krispies (Brighton Toast, $9), but halfway through the Glasgow ($12) – two potato scones topped with poached eggs and house-made Lorne sausage in sausage gravy, all with home fries, grilled tomato and a mug of coffee or strong Typhoo tea – which Love describes as a “Scottish breakfast cheeseburger,” we’re forced to cry uncle.
“That’s a good 15- to 20,000 calories just on that one plate,” laughs the mutton-chopped chef.
No wonder we need a nap.
stevend@nowtoronto.com
