I recently met a friend of a friend. I knew she was attracted to me from the first moment. She's older than I am (almost 40 and I'm in my early 30s) and incredibly attractive, so I thought, wow, she'd be great to get it on with.
As the short courtship moved closer to that magical moment that would happen in my bed, I realized she was not someone I could see myself being happy with in the long run. She's a nice person but doesn't share my core values, passion and vision. For the first time, I decided to pursue someone as a potential fuckmate and no more.
The relationships I had with my last two girlfriends (both amazing, lovely women with whom I'm still good friends) were based on love. I loved who they were from day one, so when I was intimate with them for the first time, it was easy and extra-enjoyable. When I was younger, sex was always this way, but this past weekend I learned that it isn't always so.
My older lover had removed all of her clothes and got into bed with me. To me, her body is flawless, and I was getting turned on.
As I proceeded to make love to her by going down on her, she told me that I "shouldn't try so hard." I wondered what type of guys she'd been going out with. I've never been with a woman who didn't enjoy it when I kissed her pussy, but I guess everyone's different.
She repeated her "trying too hard" spiel when I kissed her legs and feet and sucked on her toes. "Don't do that. My feet are dirty!"
I thought, "Wow, this woman has never been made love to!"
After her feeble attempt at foreplay (a couple of bites on my neck and a short suck on my nipple), I put on a condom and we started fucking.
There was a lot of physical chemistry - the way she smelled, the way she looked, the way she felt - but I found something about it jarring. We tried several different positions. I realized that what she likes (having me slap her ass really hard while being fucked from behind) was completely different from what I like (gently stroking and kissing her back and neck while fucking her from behind).
She admonished me for exclaiming my pleasure as she kissed me.
"Oh, shut up!" she yelled, but soon apologized for her angry behaviour.
When I closed my eyes while she rode me, she said, "What's the matter with you? You have a beautiful woman on top of you and you aren't looking!"
I've been with a lot of beautiful women in my life, but Jesus Christ, never have I been with someone so fucking vain.
Soon after, she called it off. "Let's stop." She knew what I knew.
I wasn't going to be able to come and neither was she. I didn't feel love for this person. It wasn't a joint effort. I want sex to be equal. It's not supposed to be about power, is it?
We tried again and I forced myself to orgasm, closing my eyes and imagining that I was with one of my wonderful ex-girlfriends.
This will be my last such liaison. The time has come to be intimate only with women I love and respect as friends and people, rather than banging chicks I think are hot.