Dear Sasha,
I’m in a bit of a pickle. I have organized two sex dates with two men on the same day.
One of them is someone I don’t see often because he comes into town very rarely, and the other, well, he’s new, but I’m really looking forward to seeing him. Let’s just say I’m not going to break either date – nor do I see being able to reschedule them.
I’ve made no promises to either of these gentlemen – I’m single, slutty and unstoppable – but I think it’s tacky going from one date to the other with a pussy smelling like latex. Both of these fellows are orally inclined, and I think it might dampen the action if I smell like rubber for Mr. Two. Any tips on getting rid of the telltale odour?
Pretty Pony
Dear Pretty,
Yes, that smell certainly can linger, can’t it?
Try using non-latex condoms. You have a few options, but polyurethane and polyisoprene are your best bets for STI protection. Polyisoprene, the more recent of the two, is more elastic than polyurethane and easier to unroll.
You may also try these. These condoms by Crown are made of latex but have no latex odour.
Dear Sasha,
A few years ago I hired a dating coach. We met at a pub, we chatted for a while for him to get to know me, and then he gave me feedback.
This was followed up by an email providing a written guide on how to date. His advice basically came down to suggestions on wardrobe and how to act. The dating advice was a toned-down version of what pick-up artists hock on their websites. I didn’t find the experience too useful it was mostly canned advice.
I finally realized that what I need is the blunt truth: what is it about me and what am I projecting? It is unhelpful to hear from friends and family that I am fine and that I have these positive qualities, because no one really wants to give feedback that can be construed as negative. Also, people who know me see things differently than those who don’t know me well.
Now I’m at that point where I’m interested again in getting feedback about what women see in me when they meet me for the very first time. It might help in my future dating, but I’m also more realistic now about how this could be helpful. I’m at a point where I’ll be able to appreciate what any such feedback means in the greater scheme of my life.
So my question is this: can I hire you for a feedback session? I’m proposing this because I trust your intuition and honesty after reading your column for a while. It’s also better to get this info from a woman than a man how could men have any clue about a woman’s perspective? This is outside of what you normally do, but I thought I’d ask.
Sam
Dear Sam,
This is an interesting proposition. How would it play out? Would you pay me to go out on a date where I itemize, without mercy, your unappealing qualities?
I can tell you straight off that if you’re not getting attention from women it may be because you’re boring. I’ve met very few people who’ve succeeded in overcoming this devastating quality, so we might have a bit of work ahead of us.
In other words, I’ll do it. I won’t be mean, but I will be honest. And I’ll do my best to help you find solutions. I’m very curious about this. I never get to help people in person, and I’m getting tired of sitting behind this keyboard and having very little personal contact with readers other than the awkward moment when someone comes up to me and asks, “Are you Sasha?” Then, surreally, that person talks to me like Sasha is even my real name.
Get in touch with me here, Sam, and we’ll set something up.
COMMUNITY NOTES
Is your brother in town with his wife from [Insert Small Canadian Town Here] and they want to see something wild, something they don’t get back home? Are you a self-described average couple looking to spice up your sex life? A group of gals from Burlington visiting Toronto and looking to see some of this polished big-town burlesque you’ve heard all about?
Look no further than Les Coquettes Speakeasy at Revival, every Monday night for the next several weeks.
I attended with my friend Shane, and though the evening was a little tame for our jaundiced urban palates, the folks who love Les Coquettes and those who hadn’t seen them before were absolutely thrilled.
These gals are trained, toned cabaret queens: not a beat missed, not a glove left unfurled, not a wink un-winked, not a pout un-pouted. Tasteful entertainment, appetizing chow and toothsome ladies keep the evening moving along at a perfectly agreeable pace.
And all in an environment that incorporates the liberally nostalgic elements of a speakeasy without all the vision-impairing bathtub booze, shootings and police raids.
(On a personal note, the last time I performed burlesque at Revival was about 13 years ago, when it was the Polish Military Hall. It was for a friend’s stag party, and one of the elderly guests whomped me across the ass with a large Italian sausage he’d won in one of the draws. Those were the days!)
My favourite performer of the evening was Dew Lily, the “man meat” of Les Coquettes. I’ve noticed that typically, male burlesque performers seem more relaxed about being overtly sexual onstage (whereas female performers often seem held back by a fear of being perceived as “real” strippers), and he was no exception. He’s got that thing called “it,” and he’s not afraid to share.
All in all, a swell evening out on the town. Grab some gals from the office and make a night of it.
