After stale beer, cigarettes, aspirin and Pop Tarts, boning is for sure the breakfast of champions. So why not a whole-food cereal to give your morning a little extra get-up-and-go?
Enter Peter Ehrlich, a marketing guru who's using his sales acumen to put sex into breakfast cereal - the go-to supper of lonely-hearts dining in the dark that has had nothing to do with anything resembling eroticism...until now.
For SEXCEREAL [CAPS sic, we're told], Ehrlich has formulated gender-specific recipes catering to the needs of the modern male or female. Whatever claims it makes regarding boosting your rise-and-shine libido, SEXCEREAL success by injecting a bit of humour into the often stuffy, serious world of health food.
"I was at a vegan fair" [note: he pronounces it "vay-gun"], Ehrlich says over the phone, "and everything was brown and green. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw this splash of pink. It was a woman with a product called Girlnola. It was sexy. I saw an opportunity."
While the packaging suggests that SEXCEREAL is an aphrodisiac - with on-bag copy like "Fuel Your Fire" and "An Amazing Whole Food Cereal & Spice!" - Ehrlich is careful not to write cheques his erotic mix of rolled oats and goji berries can't cash. The product even brought Ehrlich to CBC's Dragon's Den, in an episode that aired last Sunday. He sought $100,000 for 25 percent of his erotic breakfast empire, eventually settling on a 50/50 split with Dragon Jim Treliving.
And although Ehrlich says the male SEXCEREAL does boost testosterone and the female version provides hormonal balance, Health Canada regulations keep more sensational boasts in check.
"You're not going to get an erection from eating my cereal," Ehrlich clarifies, just in time to stop us from ordering it by the crate. "If I were able to do that, I'd be able to retire in a week. With my cereal, at least you're not going to get a heart attack. You may get an erection, but you won't get a heart attack."
Sounds like SEXCEREAL has its new slogan.