I know what it feels like, and I've seen enough porn to be able to picture what it looks like. I've done the mirror thing, but usually I end up putting the mirror away because I find it too demanding or close my eyes by accident.
I've often seen what it looks like when my lovers come. But I'd never seen me , never had the complete, close-up, personal pleasure of viewing my own pleasure.
Even though the actual close-up of my pussy and the few shy contractions are nothing spectacular by any means, it feels quite special to actually witness the entire performance of my own orgasm. I do think my whole body looks beautiful on video, but it's more than that for me.
Most important, I let my lover film me. By allowing him to zoom in on something that is so mine, I gave him the gift of deepest trust and intimacy.
It's a lovely image. My pussy spasms, the muscles of my belly tighten as the currents shoot through. It's too bad many women don't get this visual experience, because of inhibition, an incurious lover or a lack of technical equipment.
Men, of course, get to see their orgasm all the time and can effortlessly share its beauty with lovers. I, for one, enjoy seeing my lover's sticky cum shooting out, spilling white drops on my belly or forming a curious necklace around my neck.
Sometimes, afterward, he squeezes my wrist gently in a heartbeat-like fashion to show me what my orgasm feels like to him. But the filmed close-up goes beyond such approximations. It's the final proof.
The website www.beautifulagony. com shows short films people send in of their faces during orgasm. The array of expressions ranges from ecstatic to pain-stricken, surprised and absolutely still. The site only shows what happens above the neck, so the fun comes in imagining the rest. The films are beautiful, private and sacred. It's voyeuristic and exciting to see all these strangers come. As the most intimate act becomes public, the anonymous faces performing exhibitionistic acts provide an intoxicating mixture.
When it comes to my own body, I feel thankful to have moved beyond imagination.
Trust me, the memory of the straight-up close-up of your cunt can make you wetter than anything you could ever imagine.