Labour of lust

Finding a good porn site is hard work


While many people have a second job, I doubt it involves assuming an alter ego to watch others having sex. My name is Sir Randy, and I review gay porn sites. When I say I’m hard at work, hopefully I mean it.

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But it’s not all cum and games. Finding gay porn that is actually worth your time and money can be frustrating. Enter the word “cock” into your Google search engine and you’ll be offered almost 62 million options entering “gay porn sites” will narrow that down to 4.3 million. That’s where I come in. I’m the fairy godfather of online sex. Let me help you get off.

Identifying good porn isn’t limited to finding a site that simply delivers your chosen kind of sexual activity. You always want to get more bang for your buck, and this can hinge on the talent behind the camera as well as in front of it. Sex should be directed, choreographed, filmed and edited in a way that can fuel the fire of fantasy and not extinguish it. That’s where a lot of amateur sites fail. The angle at which a camera is positioned can be as arousing as the hot action it’s capturing. It is possible to display both substance and style in bed, or on a staircase, for that matter.

The ability to easily and quickly navigate a site or a selected scene is also a godsend. You don’t always have time for lengthy foreplay. Some days it’s all about the money shot and getting to it sooner than later. In a market as saturated and competitive as gay porn, what makes a site worthwhile is that it doesn’t just meet your needs, but exceeds them, giving you a reason to return. There’s a difference between a friendly kiss good night and a mind-blowing session between the sheets.

Hitting the jack-off pot isn’t always guaranteed. For every sizzling suck-and-fuck site I’ve reviewed, just as many are about as enjoyable as planning a funeral. And then there are sites that don’t interest me personally but that I still review as objectively as I can, since they might appeal to others – sites with a focus on fisting or water sports or the elderly getting it on, for example. I don’t even want to consider the possibility that a site incorporating all three actually exists. Damn it… too late.

My part-time gig has had a full-time impact on my own sex life. In some ways it’s like getting paid to learn. Seeing something online that unexpectedly arouses me – whether it’s a new position, technique, location, fetish or toy – is cause for immediate celebration and subsequent experimentation.

If the desired outcome is reached (hello, orgasm!), then it gets added to my own sexual repertoire. Developing new skills and perfecting existing ones is never a waste of time or effort, especially when sex is involved. All adult education and second jobs should be this rewarding.

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