Some respondents were actually pretty pleased with what they learned in sex ed.
Others, not so much:
“Babies are often born with IUDs implanted in their heads.”
“All gay men want to be women and were made that way by overprotective mothers.”
Actually, it was what I wasn’t told: that consent should be loud and proud. That could have helped me avoid a number of unfortunate encounters.
“Sex involves a boy and a girl.”
“Gay men will end up wearing diapers later in life.”
“Girls are bad at sports on their periods.”
“The anus was not designed to receive the penis” (Catholic high school).
“Masturbation makes you blind.” I stopped when I was fitted for glasses.
“If you get into cars with boys you will get raped.”
“You can’t catch diseases while you’re on your period.”
“Keep your pecker in your pants unless you gotta pee.”
We were shown by a female educator that men masturbate by grabbing their cock close to the head with one hand and moving the palm of their other hand in a sort of stirring/smushing motion to stimulate the head.
“All contraception fails.”
Likening an erect penis to a full-sized cucumber. Terrifying.
Had one teacher in Grade 7 call abortion “killing your baby.” She was called out by a student.
“A man ejaculating into a pool can cause the female swimmers to become pregnant.”
“Tampons cause you to lose your virginity.”
Teaching boys and girls separately was the most ill-informed thing that happened in my sex-ed classes.
We were shown a video in which a woman described a botched abortion. Apparently, the doctor tore something and the woman’s colon was forever fused to her vagina, causing her to leak feces from her vagina forever. This was taught in Catholic school circa 2007.
That I’d be having sex.
“You don’t need condoms in a monogamous relationship.”
“Having sex will lead to chlamydia and death – the first time.”
“If you don’t have a condom, Saran Wrap and an elastic band can be used as an alternative.”
On the overhead projector in Grade 9 gym, the female body diagram had underwear drawn over the relevant sex-ed parts.
“No means yes.”
“Birth has no pain.”
“If you have sex, everyone will hate you and think you’re a slut.” (This was in 2005.)
“Don’t do it.”
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