1. This Montblanc limited-edition red resin Franz Kafka ballpoint ( Montblanc , 151 Bloor West, 416-925-4810, $525) comes with beaucoup de cachet .
2. Nope, not a marital aid. It's Umbra's Pink Phatboy ballpoint ( Proud Canadian Design , 207 Queens Quay West, 416-603-7413, $20).
3. Just as it says on the box, "Life's just too dadgum short to carry an ugly pen! This orange Tornado ballpoint by Retro 51 ( Rapp Optical , 788 College, 416-537-6590, $46) meets the looker challenge.
4. Too bad the pill on this magnetic ballpoint ( Zuei , 4 St. Patrick, 416-597-1785, $8) is just for show. Popping a cap at work is just what the doctor of slack prescribed.
5. With your name clearly written on this Lamy ABC fountain pen ( Swipe , 477 Richmond West, 416-363-1332, $29.95), there's no room for juvenile property disputes.