Rating: NNNNN
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
(John Madden)
Anybody remember when Nicolas Cage was a good actor? Remember Penélope Cruz’s Spanish films? A word to the wise: films with Academy Award hopes don’t get dumped in August.
The Center Of The World
(Wayne Wang)
Dot-com boy meets stripper and hires her for a weekend in Vegas. Low-light digital video, dark film transfer, visual mud, and the woman on the poster ain’t star Molly Parker — it’s porn star Alisha Klass, who would have been more interesting in the part.
What’s The Worst That Could Happen?
(Sam Weisman)
Self-answering title, don’t you think? OK, probably better than Black Knight on the Martin Lawrence scale of things, but this looked like it might have been decent.
The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion
(Woody Allen)
Allen’s penchant for leading ladies 30 years his junior is becoming downright creepy. He isn’t aging gracefully. Or funnily.
The Man Who Cried
(Sally Potter)
Someone tell Johnny Depp that playing romantic Roma men in Eurotrash movies, while financially less rewarding, is aesthetically no better than doing big, lazy action pix. And someone tell Sally Potter to please stop.