PIRANHA (Alliance, 2010) D: Alexandre Aja, w/ Elisabeth Shue, Steven R. McQueen. Rating: NNN DVD package: NNNNN Rating: NNN
Possibly the finest moment in all of 3-D cinema is Piranha’s underwater girl-on-girl soft porn ballet. Tragically, the DVD’s 2-D presentation just doesn’t capture that weightless grace.
Apart from that, Piranha provides brisk featherweight fun for undemanding 12-year-old boys, yo-yoing between its school of foot-long fanged furies and bevies of bikinied and bare-bosomed babes.
Until the former chow down on the latter, amassed at a lakeside resort for spring break, we’re kept amused by the pleasures and perils of a porno crew and their local-boy teen location scout on a yacht.
Alexandre Aja knows how to stage chaotic mass carnage. What he seems to have forgotten is how to make any of it very scary.
Check out the 90-minute making-of doc to learn how incredibly tough shooting on the water is, even in shots that look perfectly ordinary.
EXTRAS Director and producers commentary, five-part making-of doc. Widescreen. English, French audio. English, French, Spanish subtitles.
