BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A STAR (Tom Brady). 98 minutes. Opens Friday (September 9). See listing. Rating: N
Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star, which wisely wasn’t screened for critics, might be the most painfully unfunny comedy to ever get a wide release. It’s certainly the worst thing that producer Adam Sandler has ever had his name attached to. Considering that his Happy Madison production company has made films like Deuce Bigalow and Zookeeper, that’s saying something.
Nick Swardson (who also co-wrote with Sandler) embarrassingly mugs his way through this tale of a buck-toothed Iowa rube who finds out his parents were famous 70s porn stars. Feeling the need to follow in their footsteps, Bucky makes his way to Los Angeles, where he becomes an unwitting superstar because his incredibly small penis makes average men look good by comparison.
Swardson and Sandler seem to think that repeated jokes about bowl cuts and silly accents are more than enough to sustain 98 minutes.
This is a film about pornography that’s almost completely devoid of anything remotely sexual, unless you count Swardson jerking off with both hands and flailing around like a gorilla on crystal meth – all of which director Tom Brady bafflingly shoots from the chest up, since showing what is happening might approximate something close to a funny gag.
The rest of the supporting cast is rounded out by competent pros who should be ashamed for collecting obvious paycheques. Christina Ricci is uninspired as Bucky’s restaurant-server love interest. Stephen Dorff and Don Johnson phone in performances as an actor and a director respectively.
Swardson can be faulted for being talentless and annoying, but most of blame has to fall at Sandler’s feet. After years of subjecting audiences to films that keep his cronies employed, he has officially gone too far.
