HERBIE: FULLY LOADED (Angela Robinson). 95 minutes. For venues and times, see Movies, page 107. Rating: NN Rating: NN
I'm taking up a collection to buy Lindsay Lohan's soul back from Disney. She's not untalented, but enough with the Disney remakes like Herbie: Fully Loaded , which is best described as something clueless NASCAR dads can take their daughters to.
Lohan plays Maggie Peyton, scion of a car-racing family who's about to begin a job with (Disney-owned) ESPN. Her dad ( Michael Keaton ) wants her to escape her street-racing youth, and to that end he buys her a junk heap for a grad gift: a VW Bug that answers to the name of Herbie. In his prime Herbie was quite the racer, but those days are behind him and he's headed for the scrap pile.
But with the help of cutie mechanic Kevin ( Justin Long ), Maggie and the Love Bug are ready to take on NASCAR champ Trip Murphy ( Matt Dillon ) and attempt to become the first woman/soft-top-Bug team to win a major championship race.
Do I need to tell you how it ends? Didn't think so. The saddest part of this cliché-ridden vehicle (pun intended) isn't even seeing decent actors like Keaton and Dillon slumming. It's watching another young actor grow up under Disney's watchful eye. Ms. Lohan? Ms. Mills and Ms. Funicello on line one.