SPYMATE (Robert Vince). 80 minutes. Opens Friday (February 24). For venues and times, see Movie Listings. Rating: N Rating: N
And now, class, a short quiz on the Canadian-produced film Spymate .
Why do people keep making animal movies? Is it because Clint Eastwood made them? Or because Babe got Oscar nominations?
If you're making a ludicrous film about an ex-spy's daughter ( Emma Roberts ) being kidnapped by an evil scientist ( Richard Kind ) because she's invented a special drill, is it fair to sully the dignity of a poor chimpanzee in the process?
If Minkey (the chimp) is also an ex-spy (yes, you read that right), wouldn't he be less conspicuous if he weren't dressed in people clothes?
Do we really want one of our last memories of Pat "Mr. Miyagi" Morita to be that of him getting punched in the 'nads by a monkey before sending said primate (rhymes with "spymate," get it?) into a volcano to rescue the girl and her dad ( Chris Potter )?
Is it possible to cram more racial stereotypes into a film that already has a bribe-taking Jamaican hotel clerk and a bunch of ninjas?
And finally, have we not yet learned that, when it comes to making kiddie caper flicks, Richard Kind and circus freaks are no match for Charles Grodin and the Muppets?
Answer key: dunno, but I wish they'd stop; no; yes; no; possibly; apparently not.