DELTA FARCE (C.B. Harding). 89 minutes. Opens Friday (May 11). Rating: N Rating: N
Just in case you were hoping, this is not a parody of those antique Chuck Norris actioners. And that's the upside. There isn't a single laugh in the whole sorry mess.
Three redneck morons get yanked into combat. They think they're in Iraq, but they're in Mexico, defending a village from bandits led by Danny Trejo .
Larry the Cable Guy ( Daniel Whitney ) stars, and he's neither funny nor charming. Where other actors have screen presence, Larry has screen absence: when he enters a scene, it feels like someone talented has just left. He's physically graceless, and here he's so busy keeping his cracker accent in place that he gives every line the same reading. His buddies, Bill Engvall and DJ Qualls , are equally drab.
But the material is no better. First-time writers Bear Aderhold and Tom Sullivan don't know how to construct gags and haven't penned enough of them to sustain the running time. Director C.B. Harding , whose previous career highlights include WWE wrestling events and episodes of The Osbournes, telegraphs every joke and lets sequences drag on forever, killing the pace. Bonus downside? Trejo does comedy.
You want comic morons? Forget this dreck and watch Trailer Park Boys.