Don't Move (Sergio Castellitto). 125 minutes. Subtitled. Opens Friday (March 25). For venues and times, see Movies, page 91. Rating: N Rating: NNNNN
It's not like we weren't warned. Writer/director/star Sergio Castellitto openly declared, "I like to show the closed fist of life," which is practically the same thing as saying, "I like to indulge in macho bombast." But no mere warning can prepare you for the near-parodic offensiveness of Don't Move . Castellitto plays Teodoro, a married doctor who relives, in flashback, an affair he conducted before his daughter's birth, while said daughter goes under the knife for brain surgery.
As Teodoro waits in the hospital, we're transported back to a squalid village where his car has broken down. A local woman offers to help. After using her phone, he rapes her. "I was drunk," he later apologizes, shortly before raping her again, after which they fall in love. (Hush, it's meant to be moving.) He returns to his wife, whom he impregnates, roughly, and the story unspools along its unselfconsciously reprehensible path to Gigli-grade redemption.
The whole film plays like a sloppy drunk who has no idea how obnoxious he's being.