JUMPER Directed by Doug Liman. 88 minutes. Opens Thursday, February 14. Rating: N
Jumper is a clear sign that former Darth Vader Hayden Christensen’s career is breathing through a ventilator. Wasting any acting cred he earned with Shattered Glass, Christensen’s a Corvette Summer away from doing cartoon voice-overs with Mark Hamill.
Full of not very special effects, this teleportation nonsense about religious nutjobs hunting pretty people with powers makes more leaps in logic than creationism and Nickelback’s continued success combined. And it plays like a travel commercial, with Christensen exhibiting all the charisma of a tour guide.
Thankfully, Jamie Bell pops in and out to liven things up. Co-star Rachel Bilson was given more to do on the cover of this month’s GQ, the one where she’s saluting in a red, white and blue bikini. Diane Lane? Also wasted. Sam Jackson? He may actually have been wasted when he phoned this one in from the golf course.
As for the story, it starts out like a superhero origin pic: picked-on quasi-parentless teen exhibits strange powers and hides the truth from his hot high school crush. Instead of busting bad guys, he breaks into banks – he’s got great power and no responsibility.
It’s a neat popcorn premise, in an X-Men Lite kind of way. And with no new Heroes, it would make a cool TV pilot.