ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS (Tim Hill). 90 minutes. Opens Friday (December 14). Rating: N
Dear Santa, I’ve been a good girl this year. In fact, I’m so good, everything on this list is for other people, not me.
1. It may be too much to ask for Hollywood to have an original idea. But if they had to update Alvin And The Chipmunks for the CGI era, couldn’t they have given it the Spinal Tap treatment and made a film about the aging cartoon doo-wopers confronting YouTube and viral marketing? Why give us an origins story when this novelty act is nearly 50 years old?
2. Please make studio heads give the talent the residuals they deserve. I’d like to think the only reason talented actors like Jason Lee (as the ’Munks’ manager/surrogate dad, Dave) and David Cross (as a money-grubbing record exec) got involved with this was to amass a war chest of cash to get them through the upcoming actors’ guild battle with the studios. Ditto writer Jon Vitti, who worked on The Simpsons back when it was actually funny.
3. Please give Justin Long a career. He’s paid his dues in those annoying Apple commercials. He doesn’t deserve to follow up his role in Live Free Or Die Hard by being Alvin’s voice.