Jensen Ackles wants to be your Valentine.
MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D (Patrick Lussier). 101 minutes. Opens Friday (January 16). Rating: NN
This is an enjoyable conventional slasher movie whose okay 3-D is emphatically not worth the money. I paid $15.50 at the Scotiabank, $3 more than the standard $12.50.
Despite the 3-D gimmick, you're getting no more bang for your buck than you would watching this flat or renting the 1981 original.
Though director Patrick Lussier shows no fear of shooting in 3-D, he fails to embrace its rich, cheesy goodness. That's a significant failing. The problem with 3-D that nobody mentions is that your eye adapts, so by the one-hour mark it's little different than watching an ordinary movie. If you don't keep flinging stuff in our faces, what the hell are we paying that extra three bucks for?
Lussier keeps his camera moving and pulls off a few cool wide shots and compositions in depth, but his in-your-eye stuff is repetitive and goes by too quickly - a complaint that could be made about his use of gore in general. While the movie is sufficiently gruesome for the casual viewer, it's no visceral feast for the hardcore genre fan.
The slasher character is merely the standard heavy-built heavy breather who shows no noticeable imagination in his repeated use of a pick-axe to skewer torsos and heads.
The story works fine. Tom Hanninger (Jensen Ackles) returns to the small mining town where 11 years earlier he had caused a mine disaster that resulted in a miner going mad and slaughtering 22 people. The killings start again, and Tom is the chief suspect.
The young stars and older supporting players do their jobs well, and Lussier keeps things moving at a brisk pace. If not for that extra-high ticket price, this would be a 3N movie.