STARBUCK (Ken Scott). 109 minutes. Subtitled. Opens Friday (September 23). Rating: NN
If Audrey Tautou's Amélie had had 533 children, she'd be a lot like the title character in Starbuck, a movie that incidentally has nothing to do with coffee except for how over-caffeinated it sometimes feels.
Bon Cop, Bad Cop's Patrick Huard stars as David, a lovable middle-aged fuck-up who discovers that he fathered hundreds of kids when he repeatedly donated sperm in his youth under the alias Starbuck. Those grown children are taking legal avenues to find their father, while David, in a life-changing pursuit, secretly plays guardian angel in their lives.
The movie gets off on this giddy concept, and surely many in the audience will, too - it was a runner-up for TIFF's People's Choice Award. There are so many warm, cute moments, you'll probably feel like you're hugging a highly fertile teddy bear. Just know that Starbuck, like that teddy, is stuffed with nothing but fluff.
The film is completely out of touch with logic and honest consideration for what its scenario might actually involve. Also, there's no need to worry about David's other issues - a pregnant girlfriend, mobsters after money - because all of his extravagant dilemmas will sort themselves out in the easiest ways possible.
Preposterous, manipulative and saccharine, Starbuck has all the ingredients of a sure-fire crowd-pleaser.