THE BOY NEXT DOOR (Rob Cohen). 91 minutes. Opens Friday (January 23). Rating: N
Where to watch: iTunes
Fresh from teaming with Iggy Azalea to remind everyone that she can still shake her booty, Jennifer Lopez stars in The Boy Next Door opposite Ryan Guzman, the quick-footed actor who filled Channing Tatum’s shoes in the last two Step Up movies. Both get to show off their best, perfectly framed assets, but why they didn’t join forces for a sexy dance-off instead of a piss-poor Fatal Attraction-style domestic thriller is beyond me.
In this late-night W Network slot-filler, J.Lo plays Claire, a high school classics teacher and mother of a delicate teen son, who’s on the rebound from her separation with a cheating husband. Introduced triceps first is Guzman’s Noah, a new neighbour who’s quick to quote Homer, ingratiating himself with the family and then seducing his way into Claire’s panties.
After her indiscretion with the boy half her age, Claire recoils for moral reasons, and Noah reveals he’s a psycho stalker. (His obsession with Homer should have been a clue.)
Everyone involved seems confident they’re making a terrible movie, so the actors adjust their performances for camp. B-movie director Rob Cohen (The Fast And The Furious) caters to that tone, slyly shooting his reveals – Noah materializes from the most unexpected places (look out for the potted plant!) – so audiences can stifle laughs instead of shrieks.
