THE LOVE GURU (D: Marco Schnabel, 88 min) Rating: NN
The Love Guru is Mike Myers's far from triumphant return to live action after a five-year hiatus voicing Shrek. In this lampooning of Eastern spirituality as Western fad, he plays the Guru Pitka, a bargain-basement Deepak Chopra with a dream to appear on Oprah.
The outlandish plot is barely worth summarizing. For the most part, it involves Pitka playing marriage counsellor to an African-American hockey star (in itself is one of the movie's best jokes) while trying to get "randy" with his boss, the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs (the pouty-lipped Jessica Alba).
The movie boasts the same brand of humour as the Austin Powers series, including names that sound like come-ons and the casting of Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer (who's becoming the staple midget in bad comedy).
But Myers can't get the same mileage out of his Pitka shtick; most of these hallmarks lack the punch or pizzazz of the former series. Among the minor successes are the riotous Bollywood-style dance sequences, with Myers and Alba ducking behind trees. But these are short-lived after a long barrage of big-to mammoth-sized dick jokes.
And, as the Guru should know, size is no substitute for technique.