THE OTHER WOMAN (Nick Cassavetes). 109 minutes. Opens Friday (April 25). See listing. Rating: N
This strained, phony, astoundingly overlong comedy takes great pains to forge an unlikely alliance between a spastic Connecticut housewife (Leslie Mann), the slick Manhattan lawyer her husband's been romancing (Cameron Diaz), and a second, utterly superfluous, younger mistress (model Kate Upton) who's at once underdeveloped and, shall we say, overdeveloped.
As the theme from Mission: Impossible, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and other abysmally predictable ditties carpet-bomb the soundtrack, the ostensibly adorable threesome gradually exact their revenge on the ostensibly irresistible sociopath (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, who actually looks like a wolf) who seduced and deceived them. As befits such a one-dimensional fiend, this serial adulterer's eventual comeuppance is violent, total and seemingly endless.
Mann can be endearing in her sleep, but her character's hysterics are wincingly false; Diaz is collecting a cheque; Upton smiles and bounces. Nowhere in this film do we get any indication as to how these women wound up with such an asshole, or what they might have learned from their relationships with him.
There's a late scene where Upton confesses to Diaz that she has a new beau. Diaz's sage advice is to "not think about it too hard."
That's your takeaway? Seriously?