THE PIRATES WHO DON'T DO ANYTHING: A VEGGIETALES MOVIE (Mike Nawrocki). 85 minutes. Rating: NN
Pirates is based on the Christian-themed cartoon and brings vegetable heroes Larry the Cucumber, Mr. Lunt and Pa Grape to the big screen as hapless dinner-theatre waiters who get yanked back to the 17th century to save a prince and princess from an evil pirate. The religious message is mercifully muted (only at the end do we venture into Ned Flanders territory), and the bright colour scheme and simple plot will satisfy pre-schoolers. But anyone expecting Pixar-level technical virtuosity and sophisticated storytelling will be bored by the basic animation, thinly sketched characters and lack of surprises.