ICE PRINCESS (Tim Fywell). 92 minutes. Opens Friday (March 18). For venues and times, see Movies, page 90. Rating: NN Rating: NNNNN
It’s one thing to know the formula for the Disney tween film: popular girls walk in slow motion, nerds are just glasses away from gorgeous, and even the seemingly meanest characters redeem themselves in the end.
It’s another to find yourself mouthing the words to a movie you’ve never seen.
Even so, predictability is not Ice Princess ‘s biggest problem. It’s the odd message it’s projecting, that 18-year-old Casey ( Michelle Trachtenberg ) knows better than Mom ( Joan Cusack ) when it comes to life, so it’s OK to throw away a chance at a freaking Harvard physics scholarship for the unlikely dream of being a competitive skater, an interest she realized she had, like, yesterday.
Add in all the uplifting music you want. If you have a shot at Harvard, don’t louse it up, even if it means you get to hang out with the hot Zamboni guy, the brother of the coolest girl in school, who – wait for it – is deep down just as insecure as you.
But even this mixed-up moral isn’t the worst of it. The greatest sin is casting Canada’s hottest export, Kim Cattrall , and a joyless Cusack in stock good mom/bad mom roles. Clearly, their agents are on thin ice.
