TRANSFORMERS (D: Michael Bay, 143 min)
Three simple words: robots in disguise.
Cars turn into robots. Robots turn into jet planes. And Optimus frickin' Prime, 18 wheels of ass-kicking red and blue steel and chrome.
This is the reason CGI was invented.
Based on the Hasbro toys and the 80s cartoon series, it's all about the battle between the Autobots and the Decepticons, with future Indiana Jones sidekick Shia LeBoeuf and Vegas cutey Josh Duhamel and all of humanity trapped amid the pixel-perfect carnage.
With all the heavy metal onscreen, it's taken a couple of Hollywood's biggest blockbusting heavyweights to pull it off. Transformers is produced by Steven Spielberg and directed by Michael Bay, whose movies have the nutritional value of a bucket of Becel-drenched popcorn, but who cares when robots change into boom boxes and beat the snot out of each other?
Who knows? Maybe it'll all amount to more than meets the eye.
Opens Tuesday (July 3). Screened after press time - see review June 29 at www.nowtoronto.com/film.