Rating: NNNNN
Thursday, September 15
SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA – THE MAYA EMPIRE Sixteen castaways – including former Dallas Cowboy Gary Hogeboom – compete for a million bucks while stranded in the ancient Mayan ruins of northern Guatemala. 8 pm on CBS/Global
Friday, September 16
THRESHOLD When a UFO lands in the Atlantic, a team of scientists are sent to investigate. Two-hour premiere stars The Station Agent’s Peter Dinklage and Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Brent “Data” Spiner . 9 pm on CBS/Global
JAZZ: Gumbo (Beginnings to 1917) JAZZ: Gumbo (Beginnings to 1917)
Documentary filmmaker Ken Burns (The Civil War, Baseball) traces the development of the genre that combines field song, ragtime, funeral parade music and blues born at the turn of the 20th century in New Orleans. 3 am on PBS
Saturday, September 17
BEWITCHED The very first episode of the magical 60s sitcom sets the scene for the next eight years as Samantha ( Elizabeth Montgomery ) and the original Darrin (a then closeted Dick York ) go on their honeymoon along with their meddling mother-in-law, witch Endora ( Agnes Moorehead ). 2 pm on Prime
Sunday, September 18
BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE (2002, D: Michael Moore , w/ George W. Bush , Charlton Heston and Marilyn Manson ) If you missed it on the big screen, now’s your chance to catch this Oscar-winning Bush-bashing doc. 8 pm on CBC
57th EMMY AWARDS 57th EMMY AWARDS
Hosted by Ellen DeGeneres , the annual salute to the best of U.S. television pays tribute to the late Johnny Carson and Peter Jennings . Plus Will & Grace’s Megan Mullally and The Apprentice’s Donald Trump team up to perform the theme from Green Acres while Boston Legal’s William Shatner and opera diva Frederica von Stade vocalize the instrumental theme from Star Trek. Honest! 8 pm on CBS and CTV
Monday, September 19
CORNER GAS Canada’s highest-rated sitcom – turned down originally by the CBC – returns for a third season of low-key laughs. 8 pm on CTV
KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL Loosely based on Anthony Bourdain ‘s scandalous memoirs, this new comedy set in upscale NYC follows a drug-addled chef as he attempts a comeback. 8:30 pm on Fox/Global
Tuesday, September 20
THE OFFICE A mockumentary shot in an office supply factory, the second season of the little-watched U.S. version of Ricky Gervais’s genius Britcom should fare better this time round now that star Steve Carell (The 40-Year-Old Virgin) is instant Hollywood box office. 9:30 pm on NBC
Wednesday, September 21
THE APPRENTICE: MARTHA STEWART The domestic goddess searches for a new assistant à la the Trumpster. Watch for potential sparks to fly between the ex-jailbird and her long estranged daughter Alexis , now director of Martha Stewart Omnimedia. 8 pm on NBC/Global
AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
60s supermodel Twiggy (!) replaces loud-mouthed Janice Dickenson as a celebrity judge as Tyra Banks and crew return for a fourth season of catfights on the catwalk. 8 pm on City
LOST LOST
Last year’s runaway hit returns for a second year of plot twists and cliffhangers. Tonight, the surviving castaways finally open the hatch and confront the horror within. Gilligan, is that you, little buddy? 9 pm on ABC/CTV