Muppets: The Green Album

(Universal)


Rating: N


I would love to hear what Statler and Waldorf have to say about this turd of a compilation. The two old codgers up in the balcony would laugh their Muppet asses off at this horrific brain-fart idea to redo, or should we say slaughter, those cherished kids’ classics.

Hard to decide who the most egregious offender is, but OK Go make a strong case right off the bat with an energy- and fun-zapping version of the Muppet Show Theme Song reimagined as a modern rock nightmare. All the xylophones in the world can’t add any magic to Rivers Cuomo’s stilted Rainbow Connection duet with Paramore’s Hayley Williams. Need a mechanical dance-rock version of Gonzo’s plaintive Wishing Song? The Airborne Toxic Event have you covered.

Not sure what’s more embarrassing: the Good Charlotte/Atreyu sleaze rock take on Dr. Teeth’s Night Life or the idea that this tribute’s hope is to make adults want to feel like kids again. Either way, the whole thing deserves a Miss Piggy karate chop.

Top track: Rachael Yamagata’s I’m Going To Go Back There Someday

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