Attempting to fuse shiny, cotton-candy fluff with 80s-era Danceteria disco (think Madonna: the early years) and kindercore candy raver attitude, New York bubble-gum dance outfit the Cooler Kids are not so cool. They're more like the Contrived Kids. Their tracks rely on insipid computer-generated perky house bounce and lyrics that flash back to the E-addled PLUR (Peace, Love, Unity, Respect) period of party culture. And not in a good way. These vapid pretty kids are a pastiche of Deee-lite without the talent or the irony. Ex-Luscious Jackson singer Jill Cunniff throws away any remaining shreds of credibility, functioning as producer and mentor for the duo. Product placement tie-ins are already in the works. I'm sure this will do very well with impressionable teens who don't know any better. But you do, so stay away.