NickelBack The Long Road (Roadrunner/EMI) Rating: N
Nickelback's latest opus is a stunning example of everything that's wrong with modern rock. Meaty thunka-thunk drumming and toneless buzzsaw guitars sound like the producers handed instruments to a gorilla clan in the studio. Chad Kroeger's constipated vocals and mawkish lyrics make Avril look like Virginia Woolf. The power ballads are overwrought; the aggressive rockers are boneheaded. The only moderately enjoyable moment is their cover of Elton John's Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting), but only for the sheer novelty of Nickelback covering a fucking Elton John tune.