SARAI The Original (Epic/Sony) Rating: N
A blond white woman rapper who calls herself Feminem, Sarai does occasionally sound like rap's great white pope - even declaring her empathy for him on a song - but Marshall Mathers didn't come out of nowhere with a dull lite-pop debut. Another thing that sucks is the fact that she prints her less than brilliant lyrics in the liner notes. What the hell kind of line is "They're more lost than Vegas"? My guess is that Sarai is part of a conspiracy to displace talented rappers with aspiring pop stars and ex-country singers. Aaron Carter and one of the more progressive Moffatts may also be involved, but so far it's still the worst conspiracy ever.