American Idol apparently combs the country looking for the cream of the crop - I mean, for the best fucking singers in the U.S. - and at the end of the day Bo Bice is the best they can do?! Holy shit, man. At least Justin, Kelly, Ruben and Clay (the mayor of Androgyny Town) all looked like they knew they performed vapid Adult Contemporary fluff. Final runner-up Bo Bice (ahem, Harold Elwin Bice Jr.) seems to see himself as a dangerous Southern-fried rocker, with the flowing locks to prove it. Regardless of how much of a dude Bice fancies himself, his debut is a sloppily strung-together batch of safe, by-the-numbers soft-rock dreck polluted by his sensitive/macho marbles-in-the-mouth voice that makes the singer of Creed sound cool. Kelly Clarkson aside, if the careers of the other Idols are any indication, Bice will be a distant, laughable memory sooner than he'd like to believe.