Cheap Gwar

Gwar with Alexisonfire and Damn 13 at the Opera House, May 2. Tickets: $22.50 Attendance: 850. Rating: NN Rating: NNNNNi.


Gwar with Alexisonfire and Damn 13 at the Opera House, May 2. Tickets: $22.50 Attendance: 850. Rating: NN Rating: NNNNN

i was kind of stoked about Thursday’s Gwar show at the Opera House. Through all the millions of years they were imprisoned on Earth and created human beings by raping prehistoric apes, I never got a chance to catch their act. The Web site is pretty funny. They use puppets onstage. I like puppets.Alas, Gwar haven’t survived their translation from theory to practice. What’s funny in illustrated comic form is at best boring and repetitive on a live stage and at worst mildly offensive.

Gwar shot what looked like cherry and lime Kool-Aid (though it’s supposed to be blood and some other bodily fluid) onto the audience over and over again while playing their own brand of forgettable bawdy thrash rock.

They shot fish in a barrel, executing effigies of Mike Tyson, the Pope, George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden in various gruesome manners, followed by more squirting of Kool-Aid.

Then they brought out an effigy of a woman and proceeded to cut off her tits and chop her up. More Kool-Aid.

I know you’re supposed to just laugh this shit off, roll your eyes and go, “Oh, that’s just Gwar!” But what if it had been an effigy of a black person? Would that be OK, too, because it’s “just good old Gwar”? All the other staged violence was aimed at individuals with destructive personal track records. What does one poor woman have to with any of those targets?

Too cheap to be terribly shocking and too one-dimensional to be funny. Really cool puppets, though.

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