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Music

Sass vs SARS

SASS JORDAN with the ROLLING STONES , AC/DC , RUSH , JUstin Timberlake , Isley Brothers , Guess WHo , Flaming LIPS , La Chicane , SAM ROBERTS , Kathleen Edwards , DAn Aykroyd & Jim Belushi , BLUE RODEO and THE TEA PARTY at Downsview Park, Wednesday (July 30). $21.50. 416-870-8000. And SASS JORDAN at Healy’s (178 Bathurst), Tuesday (July 29), 10 pm. Free. 416-703-5882. Rating: NNNNN


In the here today, gone tomorrow world of pop music, one year can be a very long time in the life of an artist. That goes double for Canuck acts. Hey, where are Jordy Birch, Big Wreck and Rymes with Orange now? Exactly. Until just a few months ago, the same could’ve been said of Sass Jordan. Now, suddenly, she’s everywhere. Well, at least she’s on television as a Canadian Idol juror and, amazingly, appears as an appetizer for AC/DC, the Guess Who and the Rolling Stones at SARSfest 2003, rocking out with 500,000 sweaty old people.

So how on earth does someone like Jordan go from virtual obscurity to a choice spot at the biggest concert in Downsview history?

Perhaps she was chosen to play because she’ll look like Aphrodite rising from the waves if she winds up sandwiched between the “Big Men, Big Music” duo of hosts Dan Aykroyd and Jim Belushi. It’s pretty much a given that she’ll out-belt them both, too.

This concert ain’t about belting, though – it’s about recovering from the SARS catastrophe. Could Jordan have been added to the bill because someone thought it would be fun to call her ” Sars Jordan” for a day? Sure, it sounds crazy, but you never know unless you ask. I called up Sass to get the lowdown.

“I don’t think so,” she says while relaxing at home, “but, hey, whatever!”

OK. I admit it was a long shot. Now, I’m just being a Mr. Guessy Guesser here, but her manager is Jake Gold, who is not only one of her fellow Canadian Idol judges but also happens to be one of the top artist managers in Canada.

Did Gold pull some strings to put his client onstage with the Rolling Stones?

“I knew somebody who knew somebody who knew somebody who knew somebody whose name I won’t mention,” says Jordan cautiously. Hmm. It’s important to remember that Sass Jordan is also very smart. She’s been studying forensic psychology for the past five years.

And that’s not all she’s been doing. Along with recording songs, briefly changing her name to “Sas Jordan” so it would look less like “ass” (no, really!), she also found time to perform in The Vagina Monologues. There are only so many people outside of the hiphop realm who can lay claim to being vaginal monologists.

That’s in addition to being the pleasant Paula Abdul type on Canadian Idol to Zach Werner’s cheeky Simon Cowell.

I hit the streets to find out the public’s view of the Sass Jordan comeback, and although there were some people who confessed an unfamiliarity with her body of work, most expressed mild interest and guarded enthusiasm about Jordan and her upcoming SARSfest performance. Carl, a waiter who spoke on the condition of anonymity, is delighted at her return to the spotlight.

“She’s always been a favourite of mine,” Carl confesses over a cup of coffee on his break. “I was worried she was low-key for a while there, but I’m glad she’s back. She’s the hottest Canadian rock chick since Alannah Myles, at least.”

Proof of her hotness is apparent from the 12 tracks on her new greatest-hits disc, Sass… Best Of Sass Jordan (Aquarius), due out on July 29, one day before the Downsview extravaganza.

A coincidence? I think not.

brewlarious@netscape.net

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