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A look back at the musings and mad pronouncements of the deep thinkers – and those with blinkers – that filled NOW’s pages in 2006
LET’S ASK SOMEONE WHO KNOWS, SHALL WE? “These people who talk about new European incinerators have to stop taking the word of the incinerator industry and start listening to what European environmentalists are saying.” Councillor Gord Perks on the suggestion that T.O.’s sludge be burned
9-1-1, CAN YOU CHARGE THE FIRE TRUCK TO MY VISA? “Whatever you might need in a serious crunch, the Disaster Capitalism Complex can provide it: generators, water tanks, cots, porta-potties, mobile homes, communications systems, helicopters, medicine, men with guns.” Naomi Klein on how the Hurricane Katrina experience revealed that disaster relief and cleanup are on the verge of massive privatization
BEST RECENT PROCLAMATION OF AFFECTION FOR PUBLIC PISSING “I love public toilets. And if there’s one thing I love more than toilets, it’s advertising.” Glenn De Baeremaeker‘s comment on rampant advertising on T.O. street furniture
WHY THE BARN WAS SO POPULAR WITH HORNY PATRONS “It was never the fanciest place, but you could always rely on it at the end of the night.” Former Barn patron Kevin Beaulieu after its doors shut for good
THANKS FOR THE PHYSIOLOGY LESSION, TRANSPORT MINISTER “Asthma kills people. Asthma means you can breathe in but you can’t breathe out. Try it.” Transport Minister Donna Cansfield, with all the fervour of someone who’s just learned something new
OH THOSE WACKY KILLERS “I don’t know how much difference cameras actually make in regard to people who are wacky enough to shoot people.” Criminal defence lawyer Paul Copeland on the use of closed-circuit cameras to monitor Caribana parties
WHO NEEDS CAB SHIELDS… IF YOU CAN AFFORD TO ONLY DRIVE DAYS “I’m not going to war, I’m going to work. I came here to be a free man, not to be caged like a bird.” Cabbie George Barisioc dissing a proposal that taxis should be equipped with bulletproof shields
GO BACK TO GROANING AND FINGER-POINTING, WILL YA? “Rather than just be blamers, moaners and groaners and finger-pointers like so many of our fellow citizens, we have decided to scrape the barnacles off our backsides, get off of the couch, stop eating the Lay’s potato chips, vegetating in front of the boob tube, get our rears in gear and do something about the problem [of crime].” Guardian Angels founder Curtis Sliwa
FEEL MY BLOOD, TOUCH MY BLOOD, TASTE MY BLOOD “Usually I splash my blood on the white wall between two artworks in the form of an X, but in this case I was the bloody X myself in front of Warhol’s Red Disaster.” Istvan Kantor explains stripping at the AGO’s Warhol show, revealing a vial of blood strapped to his penis
BECAUSE THE GUN LOBBY NEEDS MORE CASH “It’s not about safety. It’s not even about money. It’s payback to the gun lobby.” Coalition for Gun Control prez Wendy Cukier on the madness of the Tories doing away with the long gun registry
MAYBE IF WE ACTUALLY SPEND MONEY ON CONSERVATION… “For all the talk about conservation culture, the premier said he doesn’t believe conservation and renewables can really deliver. That explains a lot.” Mark Winfield of the Pembina Institute on Dalton McGuinty’s slamming of conservation tactics as a solution to the province’s energy woes
WHEN GUN CRIME PAYS “This area is getting left behind because no one was shot here.” Keith Sweeney, candidate for York South-Weston
THIS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE“We can’t keep preaching to other countries in conflict about the need to negotiate and then, when we find ourselves in conflict, say we can’t negotiate.” Royal Military College prof Walter Dorn on why Canada should consider negotiating with the Taliban
WEED WILL SET YOU FREE “Government propaganda notwithstanding, marijuana is much less toxic than anything we as psychiatrists have to offer.” Lester Grinspoon , associate professor emeritus of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School
CANCON THIS! “You can legislate whatever you want. The room will be just as empty.” Tom Hutchinson, Rainbow Cinemas spokesperson, on why forcing theatres to screen Canadian films wouldn’t in and of itself bring in the bodies
PLEASE, SIR, STOP BOOGYING “We’ve had some complaints from customers. Your dancing is causing a disturbance.” Nancy, head security guard at Holt Renfrew, puts an end to the spontaneous jiggying of I Want Rhythm, the public space intervention/ dance party
WELCOME TO CONDO HOTEL“We’re not building better neighbourhoods we’re just building more places for people to sleep.”Then council candidate Adam Vaughan on the proliferation of one-bedroom condos unsuited to families
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