No, it wasn’t calling Miss America a bullet-hairdo’d baton twirler or suggesting that Lenny Kravitz might have a membership in the Hair Club For Men, but the most fevered response I’ve recently received on the interweb was when I gave away an upcoming plot twist on Coronation Street. Who would ever have guessed that lovable Tracey Barlow was a homicidal sociopath? Been watching the show for the last 30 years?
Because the episodes shown weeknights on CBC — it only took network brass 45 years to figure out that one of the most watched programs in the UK would draw even bigger ratings if they moved it from its 3 pm afternoon slot into prime time — are about seven months behind those broadcast in Britain, it’s very easy to stay one step ahead.
Glenda Young’s been providing exhaustive analysis at this site since ’94. Just this December, she launched her own blog. Witty and perceptive, it’s a must-read for any Corrie fanatic. Yes, there are likely those who don’t want their fun to be ruined, but I find knowing what’s going to happen just slightly down the road, erm, Street makes the arcane sudser even more delicious.
By ‘eck, just look what’s coming up in the next few months! And before you get your Underworld knickers in a knot, some of these spoilers may not be entirely true.
*Trans-gendered Hayley Cropper discovers she’s a father and moves to Africa to become a nun.
*Steve MacDonald dates a drag queen he meets in a disco in Spain.
*Vera Duckworth dies, no-good son Terry shows up for the first time in 10 years.
*Hunky Liam Connor marries hairdresser Maria, then quits the show.
*Claire Peacock’s new BFF is a psycho and runs off with butcher husband Ashley and her new-born baby, the one she didn’t want in the first place. And might we suggest that the gullible housewife also stock up on batteries for the smoke detector?
*Jim MacDonald escapes from prison — again! — to disrupt ex-wife Liz’s nuptuals to lay-about drummer Vernon. In front of everyone at the church! Again!
*Knicker factory honcho Paul Connor kidnaps posh call-girl Leanne Battersby, forces her into the trunk of his BMW, and drives into the canal. So many suicidal Corrie characters have ended up in that canal, you’d think the local constabulary would have erected barricades by now.
*Norris reveals his homosexuality to Sean.
*Nut-bar loner David Platt gets a girlfriend.
*Audrey Robert’s son Steven the figure skater comes back from Canada.
*Richard Hillman is not dead.
