Doin’ the wild thang

Rating: NNNNNEverybody knows what happens to the black widow spider's lovers, but here are the sordid sex habits of some.


Rating: NNNNN


Everybody knows what happens to the black widow spider’s lovers, but here are the sordid sex habits of some of the other inhabitants of the Toronto Zoo. (And you thought dating was hard.)

ELEPHANTS

Facts: Male elephants keep their up-to-10-pound testicles inside their bellies. Their penises can weigh up to 60 pounds and are close to five feet long when… active.

Romance: On average, a bull spends 23.06 seconds on his lady friend.

Good News: Nobody’s back gets thrown out because her 10-ton lover won’t stop hanging off her.

Bad News: As soon as a female elephant gets knocked up, her sex drive ends for the three to four years it takes to incubate and raise her young.

BEAVERS

Facts:

Facts:

When you type “Canadian Beaver” into a Web search engine, your first hit is “HardCore Action The Great Canadian Beaver,” starring Felicia.

Romance: Beavers mate for life.

Good News: Beavers mate in water in early February.

Bad News:

Bad News:

It’s cold in February.

MOOSE

MOOSE

Facts:

Facts:

Male moose attract females by urinating on the ground and then rolling in it.

Romance: Not much — they’re usually solitary. And they smell like pee.

Good News: The Toronto Moose Project will not be procreating.

Bad News:

Bad News:

A male moose will salivate profusely when he encounters a willing female.

LIONS

Facts:

Facts:

When a female lion goes into heat, she wants to go about every 14 minutes for two or three days.

Romance: She rarely changes lovers. Or at least not more than once a day.

Good News: A male lion may be called on nearly 100 times a day for service.

Bad News: What bad news?

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