"I'm Rob Ford. It's gonna be pretty hard to change."
To CP24 talking head Stephen LeDrew, after Ford won his conflict of interest appeal. Everyone said that win would embolden him. How right they were.
"It's a great day for democracy."
After the city's Compliance Audit committee votes 2 to 1 not to pursue legal action against Ford for overspending his campaign limit by $40K. The committee also found the mayor had improperly accepted a $77K interest-free loan from his brother's holding company. Not a great day for accountability, however.
"I'm not conceited, but I had sort of rock star status there."
In a Toronto Sun "exclusive" following the Canadian Jewish Political Action Committee event at which former mayoral candidate Sarah Thomson said Ford grabbed her ass.
"I need your help to squeeze councillors to get the votes for a casino."
In a stump-style speech to Orthodox Jewish rabbis hosted by the Toronto Eruv committee. Oy.
"It's just lies after lies and lies. And I've called you pathological liars, and you are, so why don't you take me to court?"
At the ceremony to present the key to city to George Chuvalo after Garrison Ball allegations surfaced. Redemption in the form of Chuvalo was staring Ford right in the face, but he was willfully blind to it.
"Contrary to what many people said, I am not married to a casino."
The mayor announcing the death of the Toronto casino plan, the big gamble that did not pay off. Not married to the idea? He was in bed with practically every casino lobbyists on the planet.
"These allegations are ridiculous. It's another story with respect to the Star going after me."
On his way to a PFLAG Pride flag-raising ceremony the morning after the Toronto Star and Gawker broke the crack video story. These would be his only words on the affair until his non-denial denial a week later. The Star proved no easy target.
"I do not use crack nor am I an addict of crack cocaine. As for a video, I cannot comment on a video that I have never seen or does not exist."
In a year of whoppers, Rob Ford's twist on Richard Nixon's "I am not a crook" was one for the ages. Little-known fact: his mother helped him write it.
"Number one, there's no video, so that's all I can say."
The mayor on his radio show in response to a question from "Pam from Scarborough" about what he was doing being photographed with a drug dealer in front of a known crack house.
Rob's response: "That's very sad that she's a racist."
"Bunch of maggots. No matter what you say... you're never going to make them happy."
Ford on his radio show while continuing to lie about the existence of a video showing him smoking crack.
"Everything's going fine."
Amid the mass exodus of staff that followed the crack video revelations.
"I was elected to reduce the size and cost of government, keep taxes low, and that's exactly what I've done."
It's the Ford mantra, his go-to line every time there's a disaster to make us forget his great personal shortcomings. Remember how Ford promised to cut the gravy without touching services?
"These changes will help my administration continue delivering results for the taxpayers of Toronto."
After axing Jaye Robinson, the only woman left on his executive and the only one brave enough to tell it like it is to the mayor's face.
"My cable was out. I know as much as you guys know."
To the media outside his house the morning of the Project Traveller raids. As if the chief was going to tip off the mayor to the fact some of his friends at the Dixon Towers were about to get busted.
"That hurt, man. When it hits you in the face, you don't expect it, right?"
Injured but not actually touched, Ford responds to a juice-tossing incident at the Taste Of Little Italy. Video later emerges showing the mayor not being hit at all and the juice falling harmlessly behind him.
"I've been vindicated and we can move on."
After the Supreme Court of Canada decides it will not hear an appeal of his conflict of interest case, which, Ford claims, "was driven by the political agenda of a very small group... who do not respect democracy" - even though he was initially found guilty.
"Things are getting blown out of proportion."
Ford responds in staggering fashion to the Taste Of The Danforth controversy. He admits later to being "hammered."
"This looks like all girlie stuff. Do you have any football or hockey?"
After taking reporters on a back-to-school shopping run at Staples with his kids, where pencil cases on offer are not man enough for Dougie Jr.
"He's a friend, he's a good guy, I don't throw my friends under the bus.''
On the arrest of his alleged drug dealer Alexander Lisi on marijuana possession and trafficking charges. At the time, the mayor's comments were read as a veiled threat by some to his "friend" just in case Lisi got any ideas about chirping to the cops about the mayor's involvement in efforts to retrieve the crack video.
Extortion charges related to that would be laid against Lisi three weeks later.
"I don't call this bullying. He threw his constituents underneath the streetcar."
Ford on his Thanksgiving robocall into Scarborough councillor Paul Ainslie's ward after the executive committee member broke with the mayor on the Scarborough subway extension. The mayor has had it in for Ainslie ever since the Star quoted the councillor saying Ford was half in the bag at the Garrison Ball.
"I don't want to hear these excuses - that he's on break or that he's sick or that he's at lunch or whatever."
On uninvestigated allegations that a community centre worker was sleeping on the job. Ford's attempt to ignite the "sleepy conductor" rage that helped propel him to office falls flat. Nobody believes his histrionics anymore.
"I've taken the city, which was literally on the cliff, and brought it back, and people are very happy."
Touting his fiscal accomplishments on the third anniversary of his election in an interview on Newstalk while Toronto's world standing have never been more compromised.
"No reason to resign. I am going to go back and return my phone calls and be out doing what the people elected me to do, and that's save taxpayers money and run the great government that we've been running the last three years."
After Chief Bill Blair's Halloween lightning bolt that cops had retrieved the video of him smoking crack from a computer seized during the Project Traveller raids.
"I've just got to maybe slow down on my drinking."
Understatement is not Ford's forte.
"I'm not an alcoholic. If I have a problem I'd... be the first one to say I'm not fit to run the city."
To AM640's John Oakley. Ford also tells him he's not a drug addict.
"Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine. But am I an addict? No. Have I tried it? Probably, in one of my drunken stupors.''
Ford comes clean, sort of, surprising reporters on the way into his office. Still, there's a huge qualifier - the booze made him do it.
"I'll make sure that motherfucker's dead. I need fuckin' 10 minutes to make sure he's dead. I'm a sick motherfucker, dude."
Ford in full Hulk Hogan mode in a video that surfaces a week after Blair's Halloween surprise. Is there any connection to attempts we now know were orchestrated by the mayor's office to retrieve the crack video?
"I said it would not happen again, and it has never happened again, at the Air Canada Centre."
Ford twists the truth on the 2006 drunken tirade at the Air Canada Centre under questioning from his former budget chief, Mike Del Grande. He didn't say he would not make a drunken fool of himself ever again in public, silly.
"These allegations are 100 per cent lies."
Which almost always certainly means they're all true.
"I am taking accountability and receiving advice from people with expertise. I am accepting responsibility for the challenges I face."
The mayor announces he's hired a driver and started a fitness regimen to get in fighting trim for the 2014 election. One of the folks he's working out with turns out to be a personal trainer caught in a steroid bust in the U.S. A few days later he's on Twitter setting up a date at a 905 strip club for Rob.
"Oh, and the last thing was Olivia Gondek, that I wanted to eat her pussy. I'm happily married. I've got more than enough to eat at home."
Ford to the media after details of the St. Paddy's Day massacre of coke, escorts and boozing at the Bier Markt and his City Hall office in 2012 came out in court
documents related to the Lisi arrest. Gondek wasn't the only one to whom he directed an eating pussy remark that night. A former staffer said he made a similar crack to a City Hall security person.
"That is not a crack house. It is a house with a family with a father and a mother and three sons and a daughter."
The mayor paints a Rockwellian portrait of the north-end bungalow of his high school bud that police says is a crack "chop shop" and hangout for the Dixon Bloods.
"If I had a mayor acting the way I've conducted myself, I would have done the exact same thing."
Ford on a hypothetical better self as council moves to remove his powers.
"It's absolutely degrading and humiliating and belittling. The last couple weeks have been the worst weeks of my life."
Absent in this little diatribe to former MuchMusic VJ turned Fox News guy John Roberts is any acknowledgement that Ford is the author of his own destruction. Degrade, humiliate and belittle is what other people do to you, not what you do to yourself.
"You guys have just attacked Kuwait. Mark my words, this is going to be outright war in the next election."
The mother of all BS. Ford goes into cornered badger mode, resorting to Bushian doublespeak in a last-ditch effort to stave off council's move to relieve him of his powers. It's really all for the cameras, as is the brawl that nearly breaks out in the chamber later. Those fightin' Fords.
"I'm getting punished for the Friday and Saturday nights when I've decided to have a few drinks. This is personal."
To CBC's Peter Mansbridge after council voted to strip Ford of his powers. This one-on-two (the mayor's brother Doug was also in the house) proved an exercise in misdirection that left the veteran newsman scratching his head.
"I've never been under the influence of alcohol or drugs at a council meeting or any time in office."
Again to Mansbridge. The mayor's so-called "body man," Chris Fickel, told the cops he's seen the mayor tanked at City Hall a dozen times in the last year. Staffers were dispatched to buy booze for the mayor at least twice a week.
"I've never been drunk and driven."
No. The mayor prefers to do his drinking while driving. Apparently he's a champion two-fister, able to down a 12-ounce mickey in a minute and a half, chasing it with Gatorade.
"I've had a come-to-Jesus moment, if you want to call it that. I've let my dad down. I know he's upstairs watching this."
Dear old dad would indeed be upset. But let's just say that the fruit doesn't fall too far from the tree.
"There's not one time you'll ever find me stealing a dime of the taxpayers' money ever."
Quite something from a guy who gladly squeezed lobbyists and others doing business with the city for donations to his football charity. The integrity
commissioner wasn't able to account for some $60K of the $100K Ford said he raised. That part was never fully explained at his conflict of inerest trial in 2012.
"There's a lot of people who have done what I've done."
Drinking and driving. Crack. Heroin. You know.
"I want to see the video. I can barely remember it. I was very, very inebriated.''
To NBC Today Show host Matt Lauer. Ford figures the sooner it's released the sooner people will forget about it. He obviously has.
"Say your son or daughter has just gotten killed in a car accident and you're plastered out of your mind at 3 am. Are you going to be able to handle that?"
To Lauer on the question of his fitness to handle an emergency should he be in one of his drunken stupors. Two words: ice storm.
"As soon as they take the powers away from me, you see what happens... They're getting back on the gravy train and spending and spending and spending."
The tax-and-spend conspiracy continues. Apparently, the mayor was absent when city staff were busy putting together the budget over the last six months.
"There's two types of people: poor people and rich people, and I side with the poor people."
From the Conrad Black train wreck "conversation" masquerading as an interview in which the mayor casts himself as Robin Hood.
"The chief I have an issue with. He wasn't happy... when I told people to find efficiencies."
Ford reduces the police probe into his involvement in all manner of nefarious business to a vendetta on the part of the chief. He has to because the chief's got him by the short and curlys.
"If I've done something illegal, I've told the police to arrest me."
Another doozy that Black let slide in his "conversation" with Ford. Ford has refused to speak to the police regarding any of the allegations swirling around him.
"I help a lot with the homeless out there. [But] I won't give them money because I don't know what they're going to spend it on."
This from the same guy who once intoned that it was an "insult" to his constituents for council to consider putting a homeless shelter in his ward.
"I don't want to brag, but when I go out people treat me like a rock star."
The words, or some reasonable facsimile thereof, have been uttered by the mayor more frequently in recent months. "I'm just an average guy" has become a legend in his own mind.
"Women love money. Give 'em a couple thousand bucks and they're happy."
On U.S. sports radio when asked what the mayor's getting his wife for Christmas. Ho ho ho. In 2011 all the mayor's wife got was a call to 911.
With files from Jonathan Goldsbie and Ben Spurr