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The truth about porn theatres

It seems like every six months or so, an adventurous Toronto writer attempts to infiltrate the Metro Theatre to write an expose on what exactly goes on behind those mysterious doors. The newest offering comes closer to the truth than most previous efforts, but still manages to miss the huge elephant lurking in the corner of the room.

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I apologize to all the sex columnists and culture critics who’ve weighed in on the mysterious institution, but all of you got it wrong. Yes, it’s strange that in the era of computers and DVD players people still go to theatres and porno-booths when there’s obviously more private options, which is what should have tipped off someone to the fact that these spaces aren’t just about rubbing one out while watching badly shot footage of people fucking.

No, the real reason these businesses persist is a bit more complicated. The author of the Blogto.com article notes that as soon as she and her accomplice sat down, the other men in the theatre began roaming the isles and changing seats. Yes, this is odd, but it’s an important clue.

The real truth about porn theatres is that they are among the many spaces where men cruise for anonymous sex with other men. Yes, the porn is straight porn, and I can see how that might confuse you, but sexuality is complicated. Hell, it’s pretty well known by now that many dykes (and straight girls) enjoy gay male porn, so think of this as just yet another variation.

You also have to remember that most of the men who cruise parks, bathrooms and porn theatres identify as straight. That’s probably one of the reasons men choose these spots, as walking into one doesn’t immediately out you as a homo. Call them closet cases if you want, but once again the truth is much more nuanced and harder to nail down. Maybe they’re bisexuals scratching an itch, maybe they haven’t come to terms with their orientation yet, maybe they’re ‘experimenting’, and maybe they’re just horny and don’t really care if the mouth on their cock is attached to a man (as long as it’s dark enough to pretend otherwise).

Now, not every porn theatre endorses men jerking each other off and/or giving each other blowjobs, and some actively try to discourage it. Those businesses don’t tend to stay afloat too long though, so most have adopted an unofficial policy allowing it. I feel a bit guilty outing these businesses, but as I understand it, current laws allow for this kind of thing, so hopefully we won’t see any poorly-considered police raids any time soon. In the meantime, if you’re playing tourist in a space used for sex, try to be respectful of privacy. It might technically be a public space, but this is a very private world for the men who use it.

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