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Fringe Quotes

Rating: NNNNN


BIGGEST FRINGE FEAR

“Eleven straight days of rain.”

Stephen Flett, Shakespeare’s Rugby Wars (outdoor show)

“Having a stranger tell me to avoid a show. Then realizing they’re talking about my script.”

Evan Brooker, Slap

“Not fitting through the fire exit in my big foam Fudgesicle suit.”

Laura McGhee, The Fudgie Incident

“Having two shows with similar names in the same venue.”

Mary Francis Moore, Flush (not Flushed, both at the Factory Theatre)

“Receiving a 4-N review after my show closes.”

Evan Brooker, Slap

BEER TENT PICKUP LINES

“Hey, can I slip my flyer into your program?”

Laura McGhee, The Fudgie Incident

“If you think I’m sexy after four beers, wait till I’ve had 10.”

Evan Brooker, Slap

“Once you’ve had clown, you never go back, baby.”

Helen Donnelly/Pierre Trudel, Day One: A Prehistoric Clown Show

“I’m single, in theatre and pre-occupied with penises. Can you help me?”

Dan Cole, The Penis Chronicles

“Excuse me, I seem to have misplaced my Dora….”

Martina Gail, Spark It Up

FRINGE SURVIVAL TIPS

“Naked performers = ticket revenue.”

Laura McGhee, The Fudgie Incident

“If someone hated your play, tell them the director rewrote the script.”

Evan Brooker, Slap

“Always label Tupperware containers…. Oops, thought you said “fridge’ survival tips.”

Helen Donnelly/Pierre Trudel, Day One

PITCH YOUR SHOW TO HOLLYWOOD

“Think Quest For Fire, except everyone’s wearing little red noses.”

Helen Donnelly/Pierre Trudel, Day One

“Yes, yes, it’s about addiction and the ambivalence of a generation… but it’s also got fags.”

Martina Gail, Spark It Up

“A cross between Annie and Raging Bull, with an Ingmar Bergman/Cirque du Soleil feel.”

Edith Tankus, Not Yet, At All

“It’s like Canadian beer: strong at first, you get used to it, you want more, you dream about it and you quit your job so you can drink it 24/7.”

Angela Maiorano, Angelaland

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