Insight: Mel’s Mega Garbage

Rating: NNNNNThat stink around the municipal election campaign is the smell of garbage, the only real issue to emerge.

Rating: NNNNN

That stink around the municipal election campaign is the smell of garbage, the only real issue to emerge in this year’s sleepy affair. The recent Adams Mine fiasco and the overflowing landfill have made yesterday’s trash today’s hot topic. So we helped ourselves to this week’s trash from the homes of Adams Mine champion Mel Lastman, works committee chair Bill Saundercook, who stickhandled the proposal, and Adams Mine foe Jack Layton. When it comes to recycling, none of them exactly walks the talk,

but despite his claims that he’s a newborn environmentalist, Mel’s the worst.


* cardboard detergent container * cardboard cake tray * candy wrappers * sandwich wrapper from Subway * memo with addresses of where to replace election signs


* Onion stalks


* Khaki-coloured shorts * baby’s sleeper * several styrofoam plates and coffee cups * hunk of ham * slices of uneaten pizza * soft-drink cup from McDonald’s * 2 cardboard juice boxes *


Yogurt containers * a plastic ear * hair brush * sports watch * plastic garlic bread wrapper * plastic milk bag sandwich bags individual-size creamers * Mr. Freeze wrappers * assorted chocolates bag 2 spaghetti packages * Tim Hortons container popcorn bag * “dip-it” sauce containers from Pizza Pizza

Verdict: Bill’s garbage crimes pale compared to Mel’s, but he did produce the highest volume of non-recyclables. More home cooking could improve his outlook.


Rice * grape stem * 2 pear cores * banana peel * papaya skins * potato peels * tomatoes


Druxy’s bag with corned beef wrapper * Q-tip swabs * 2 styrofoam takeout containers


Humpty Dumpty potato chip bag yogurt containers * fat-free turkey ham containers * Nutri-Grain wrappers

Verdict: Jack could improve on his good garbage record by staying away from the turkey ham and closer to the composter


* A dozen plastic water bottles * 2 glass jars of Nescafe instant coffee * Colombian * newspaper * TV guides from the Star * 3 candy cardboard boxes * macaroons, rosettes * cardboard toilet paper rolls * tunafish tins * cardboard dishwashing detergent box * lemon-scented * cardboard perfume-bottle box * Marcello Bourghese, $24 * calcium tablets tin


Mayor’s itinerary for October 25 (4 pm meeting with the premier, 7 pm Case Ootes fundraiser at Whistler’s Restaurant) * mayor’s itinerary for October 26 (12:30 meeting with Star reporter Royson James at police headquarters, 1 pm photo shoot with councillors Rob Davis and Betty Disero, 8:30 pm meeting with Tom Jakobek at Pier 4 9 pm Toronto Maple Leafs game, Paul Godfrey) * stage notes for October 28 Mayor Mel Moose Cup photo op at Woodbine Racetrack * “Moose will have their rear ends in the (starting) gate. Will have saddle and reins. Mayor can choose here to dismount if he’s feeling uncomfortable or to mount if he’s feeling brave. Can “ham it up.'”)


* Photocopy of ad for laser eye surgery * $995 per eye * business card from Mercedes Benz dealer * one unopened, plastic-wrapped Mercedes Benz buyers’ catalogue addressed to Marilyn Lastman * $5 Lotto 649 Quick Pick * an information packet from the Nasal and Facial Plastic Cosmetic Surgery Institute * notebook sheets outlining exercise and diet schedule * letter from Fountains South Villas in West Palm Beach, Florida requesting unpaid $353.49 balance * unopened envelope from the Donalda Club * invitation from the Bundy Ladies to Marilyn Lastman for champagne-sipping and Xmas shopping at the Windsor Arms Hotel * “Select gifts from exquisite floral partyware from France” * note to “Arnie” for “1 Greek salad, 2 Nescafe Colombia, 2 Eight O’clock decaf, also my jackets” * notice of monthly pension from the feds to Marilyn Lastman * $321.75 * card from gift basket to Marilyn Lastman “compliments of the city of Edmonton”


$111.03 for prescription drugs $116.65 for prescription drugs * $7.76 from United Bakers Dairy Restaurant * credit card bill from the Bay itemizing purchase of shoes, scarves, hosiery and perfume * $247.25 bill from Holt Renfrew * “maximize your investment” letter from TD Bank


Pumpkin seeds * onion stalk * a rose


Chicken bone PLASTICS

Candy bag * plastic coffee creamers * plastic Miss Vickies potato chip bag * plastic pumpkin seeds bags * several styrofoam takeout containers in a plastic Pickle Barrel bag * several plastic prescription pill bottles


Mel may want to consider a pre-blue-box paper shredder. His personal recycling misdeeds obviously increased his bad karma in the garbage debate.

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