As much as it may come as a surprise, I’m not much of a sports fan. After years of attempting to follow hockey, I still don’t understand how a forward pass can be off-side nor can I fathom why Green Bay Packer quarterback Brett Favre’s name is pronounced Far-vuh. Favour — with a U — surely!
Cycling west along Queen Sunday afternoon, I’m surprised to see local football fans in full Roughrider and Blue Bomber regalia trucking towards the Skydome (or whatever it is they’re calling it this week) decked out in face make-up, spray-painted hair, and pasted on glitter. It looks like some kind of Gay Pride Day for straight people. And we’re not talking corpulent middle-aged out-of-towners here, but seemingly hip 20 and 30-somethings who look like they should be lounging about lofts or going to brunch instead of cheering on two teams that aren’t the Argos.
Later, I’m channel hopping and hit the CBC just in time for the half-time show. Now, I’m a big fan of marching band homages to Snoop Dog — anyone catch Kelly Clarkson and the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders half-time salute to the Salvation Army on last Thursday’s American Thanksgiving? — but who-the-fuck booked Lenny Kravitz? First off, he’s American, and second, he’s a one hit wonder has-been. And then he has the gall to play his Austin Power' soundtracks cover of the Guess Who’s American Woman!
I’m sure that Burton Cummings and Randy Bachman would have been more than happy to belt out a medley of Guess Who and BTO hits — You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet, Takin’ Care of Business — before slamming it home with American Woman, a tune that could be interpreted as a big kiss-off to the NFL.
But no, we get lame-ass Kravitz. Was Nelly Furtado busy? Corey Hart? William Shatner??Still, it could have been worse. The CFL could have brought back the Black Eyed Peas.