Thursday March 23
The lord of the rings The new epic musical opens tonight, perhaps to rule the Princess of Wales for a long time. $56-$125. 416-872-1212.
+mark forward You'll probably recognize Oakville native Forward from his commercial work, but he's a top stand-up, as he shows in his feature sets through Mar 25 at Yuk Yuk's Downtown. $10-$17. 416-967-6425.
Friday, March 24
SHAMELESS LAUNCH Girls' teen mag launches its spring edition with comic Sabrina Jalees. $5, including a free magazine. This Ain't the Rosedale Library. www.shamelessmag.com.
Law Union of Ontario Two-day conference on balance between national security and human rights kicks off with address by lawyer Paul Cavalluzzo. $10 per panel or pwyc. OISE. 416-926-8034 ext 153.
Saturday, March 25
destroyer "Secret" New Pornographer Dan Bejar unleashes his hyper-verbose rock assault on Lee's Palace. $13.50. 416-532-1598.
+thank you for smoking Ivan Reitman's son Jason hits the big time with his smokin' dark feature debut, opening this weekend.
chekhov longs... in the ravine Final weekend to catch the hit play at the Factory Studio till Mar 26. $20-$28. 416-504-9971.
Sunday, March 26
kris kristofferson Dodge the flying panties when the 69-year-old sex symbol strums his captivating outlaw country tunes at Convocation Hall. $42.50-$49.50. 416-870-8000.
scout niblett Britain's better-adjusted, drum-pounding answer to Cat Power raises a salute at the Horseshoe. $9. 416-598-4753.
Monday, March 27
motion city soundtrack Minnesota pop-punk posse gets emotional at the Phoenix. $16.50. 416-870-8000.
privatizing our Health care Hear a critique by health care policy expert Pat Armstrong, Free. Ryerson's Eric Palin Hall. 416-979-5000 ext 4199.
Tuesday, March 28
+blackalicious Positive-vibin' Cali hiphop heavy hitters ply their Craft with Pigeon John and Fat Lip at the Opera House. $29.50. 416-870-8000.
+escape from happiness George F. Walker's explosive 1992 urban comedy returns to the Factory Theatre. In previews, opens Mar 30 and runs till Apr 23. $5-$35. 416-504-9971.
Faces of fair trade Talks, textile-making demos and indigenous craft fair with reps from Women's Fair Trade Weaving Co-ops from Chiapas. Free. First Unitarian Church. 416-857-1472.
Wednesday, March 29
FEMINIST REMEMBRANCE Sumach Press launches Remembering Women Murdered By Men, with a performance by Monique Mojica. Free. Oakham House. 416-922-8744.
hair Let the sunshine in - CanStage is reviving the flower power musical, in previews, opening Mar 30 at the Bluma and running till Jun 17. $53-$80. 416-368-3110.
+blowfly Raunchy-mouthed "original dirty Southern rapper" - aka iconic disco producer Clarence Reid - brings the funk to Lula Lounge. $15-$20. 416-588-0305.
A safe and sustainable world Hear the wisdom of ecological designers Nancy Jack Todd and John Todd. Free. OISE. 416-923-6641 ext 2595.
stan won't dance Rob Tannion and Liam Steel's controversial solo for two men opens at Harbourfront Centre and runs till Apr 1. $22. 416-973-4000.
global divas Jane Bunnett, Kellylee Evans and other musical heavyweight femmes play the annual funder for St. Stephen's House. Kool Haus. $30. 416-870-8000.
guy terrifico The Flashing Lights' Matt Murphy puts on his hapless country persona to celebrate the Canuck mockumentary's DVD launch. Lee's Palace. $10. 416-532-1598.
Fossil Fools Day Sign up for an international day of action against the world's oil addiction by clicking on to http://jumpstartford.com.
art brut Sanctimonious hipsters, this is your band! Bask in the smug glow of art-punk about rock when the wry Brits smirk at the 'Shoe. $12. 416-598-4753.
THE TRANNY ROADSHOW A multimedia performance art extravaganza in which all the artists identify as transgendered rocks Buddies. $10. 416-975-8555.
neko case Deerly beloved twangy torch singer belts the stunning songs from her new Fox Confessor Brings The Flood disc at the Music Hall. $32.50. 416-870-8000.
10 DAYS ON EARTH Puppeteer extraordinaire Ronnie Burkett's latest is about a mentally challenged man whose mother has died at home. In previews, opens April 6. $36-$51. Berkeley Street. 416-368-3110.
russ little Trombonist - and erstwhile Lighthouse member - swings by the Glenn Gould Studio for jazzy selections from his new Snapshot album. $25. 416-205-5555.
OPENING DAY Find out if the Blue Jays got their money's worth when Toronto opens the season against the Minnesota Twins at the Rogers Centre. $9-$68. http://toronto.bluejays.mlb. com.
flaming lips Stock up on confetti and furry bunny suits to prepare for your sojourn in psych-pop fantasy land courtesy of the Oklahoma oddballs. Phoenix. $39.50. 416-870-8000.
hard-fi Hotly tipped UK punks bash out Clash-style anthems of anguish and urban disillusionment at the Phoenix. $17.50. 416-870-8000.
THE GOLDEN THUG Opening night for Edward Roy's new play in which famous queer and criminal Jean Genet is himself the victim of a theft, running to Apr 16 at Buddies. $15-$29. 416-975-8555.
beth orton Awkward Brit purrs the soulful folk songs from her new Comfort Of Strangers at the swank Carlu. $28.50. 416-870-8000.