It’s been a dog’s breakfast of a week alright – dogs poisoned in High Park; right-wing hot dogs on council howling against a ban on handguns; the Dogs of War baring their teeth in Afghanistan. (It was about oil after all).
News flash: Mexico eclipses Canada as the number two automaker in North America. Dog eat dog? Is there any hope for the premier’s promised retraining program? You know what they say about old dogs and new tricks.
In Ottawa, the curtain’s coming down on Harp’s dog and pony show. There, a trader from the Liberal benches, David Emerson – who rolled over when the heat was on Chretien’s crew – was appointed foreign affairs minister. Every dog has his day, after all.
The mutt Emerson replaces, Maxime Bernier, finally comes out of the PM’s dog house to explain that, you guessed it, the dog ate those secret documents he doesn’t remember misplacing at ex-lover Julie Couillard’s house. As cute as a bouvier that Couillard.
“She’s a Rottweiller,” says Mad Max. No. He didn’t know about her biker connections. No. Max is no lapdog. He doesn’t have to cover tail.
But what else can a one-time top dog say when he’s pissed away a political career for a little hoochie?
Tell it to Bernard Cote. Turns out Bernard’s no saint. The Tory aide was doin’ it doggie style with Ms. Couillard before Max came sniffing – in fact, while she was a lobbyist for a Quebec development company interested in a prime piece of real estate on Montreal’s south shore.
Yelp. A real dog and pony show, Harp’s crew. Turning tricks. Playing tricks. Man’s best friend?
Harp sends troops to do dogs work guarding pipelines in Afghanistan. (The honourable thing to do, the PM says.) And pitbulls to court to piss on eco groups trying to get the feds to honour another of out international commitments – fighting greenhouse gases. That dog won’t hunt. Its name is Kyoto.
Government lawyers argued that there was never any intention to implement the accord when it was signed, so there is no legal obligation to honour it. Now there’s a pisser.
I know. I’ve gone too far. Put a collar on me. It’s Pride weekend, after all.